


venus in furs

by KilltheRhythm



Category: EXO, Kpop - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Dark Comedy, EXO - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Multi, Parties, Romance, Slice of Life, a whole lotta parties, and teenage use of alcohol/drugs, block b - Freeform, mostly Exo getting themselves into shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7109566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilltheRhythm/pseuds/KilltheRhythm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tao gets sucked into the terrifying world of teenage parties and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They always say real life imitates art. Perhaps, Zitao thinks to himself, this is true. But if it is, then his life is fucking high caliber performance art. 

It's not that the dreary exterior of a Denny's is really where he wants to be far too early on a Saturday morning, if it even qualified as morning, it was just that this whole scenario was far too weird for his tastes. There he is, the Chinese foreign exchange student, sitting across from a kid he is vaguely friends with. And when he says he is vaguely friends with him, he means the guy sat across from him in English III and shop. Jongdae grunts in affirmation as a waitress offers them coffee and then goes back to his cigarette ("natural American spirit" Jongdae claims "only the organic shit. It's healthier") which had only burnt into a butt with some stubby ashes falling off the end. Jongdae puts it out on the bench (since when did Denny's have outdoor seating?) and pushes his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. 

"You know we're like," Jongdae pauses to roll up another cigarette. "so fucked right? We've got like," another pause, this time to glance at his phone. "maybe forty-eight hours before we're..." Jongdae then drags a thumb across his throat. 

"Yeah, I know, but like are we really gonna spend these hours at a fucking Denny's at four AM? I didn't even know they had outdoor seating, or allowed cigs, or hungover teens or..." Zitao says, sentence trailing off as the waitress hands him his coffee. He can see the faint outline of Jongdae rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. 

Zitao can now really smell the fireball and tequila on Jongdae's breath, a combo he had only become aquatinted with upon the beginning of his travels abroad, when Jongdae leans closer to him. "Between you and me, I think they aren't allowed, this lady just doesn't give a fuck." Jongdae hisses under his breath. 

All is quiet for a good while, both adolescents drinking coffee, while the wind blew not-so-softly, the sky remaining overcast no matter what. It was absurd for Jongdae to even be wearing sunglasses at this time of night, with this kind of weather, Zitao realized, but then again the entire scenario was completely absurd. There they were, hungover (well only Jongdae was, but he claimed Zitao was as well, but only in spirit) at a Denny's, at four fourteen AM, waiting for two more high schoolers who were perhaps even more hungover than Jongdae was. 

As soon as those thoughts went through his head, the two aforementioned high schoolers walked up to the bench. One was tall and lanky, dressed like a knock-off teen version of Kurt Cobain, complete with unruly mop of hair and flannel overshirt, while the other, much shorter than his companion, sported a far nicer wardrobe. The shorter one Zitao recognized right off the bat, a perfect lineup and contrasting fancy wardrobe is a hard thing not to remember, especially when said owner of hair and clothes, Do Kyungsoo, offered to give you the same haircut. 

"Eeeeyyyy, 'Dae, my boy," Chanyeol grins, stretching every vowel for far too long. "lemme bum a cig off you."

"Oi, you know that's good money man, native spirits aren't cheap." Kyungsoo says, collapsing in the bench next to Zitao. 

"Yeah well I let him have half a tin like a week ago so he oughta give me one, yeah?" Chanyeol says, and Jongdae sighs, shaking his head and sliding him the tin. 

"You're all disgusting, you know that, right?" Zitao hissed, clutching his coffee. 

"Look here, thi-- last night kicked off spring break, and I don't know if wherever in China you come from, but here we try to have a great time the entire week, and you just almost ruined that shit." Kyungsoo says, staring expectantly at Zitao. 

"Well what do you want me to do then?" Zitao raises his voice slightly, unsure of all of this. Everything seemed so shady, from the tin of tobacco being passed around, to the way Kyungsoo glinted of fake money contrasting with the cheap run-downness of the Denny's they currently sat at at a time that was breaking any curfew ever set. 

"Your host parents, the Wu family, they've got a great house, y'know." Kyungsoo points a finger at Zitao's head and he gets a whif of cheap cologne. 

Zitao narrows his eyes and furrows his brow "Yes, and..."

"A party. You'll repay us for almost ruining that last house party at Luhan's by letting us throw one at yours." Chanyeol says, drumming the table absentmindedly with his fingers. 

"Look guys, you know I don't know my host parents that well, I don't think they would be okay with it."

Kyungsoo hushes him hurriedly, but is quickly interrupted by the waitress bringing him the mimosa he ordered (since when had Denny's sold mimosas, and to minors?), but speedily resumed his speech. He talks for a long while, and while half of what he was saying did not make any form of sense, Zitao gets the idea that he's going to do as the teens say and there is no way to stop them. After he hears the words "fireworks and alcohol by the pool", Zitao metaphorically taps out of the conversation. Clearly he was out of his midst. 

\----

Zitao tries to go home and sleep, but it's not going to happen. He lays down in his bed, stares at the ceiling and tries to conjure up some form of tiredness, but it seems to have left him. There is no sleeping now. 

His clock ticks a little past 5:00 AM when he hears a buzz. Turning to his bedside table, he is greeted with a text message. While the number has not been assigned a contact, and does not state it's author, by the disjointed and hurried style of writing it is clear that it was penned by Chanyeol. After scanning over it a few times, he sets it back down, determined to ignore the events of the past few hours. It's the first goddamned Saturday morning of spring break, school has been out for about 48 hours now, and he is determined to enjoy it, regardless of what delinquents were going to try to drag him into. 

However, he cannot even finish these thoughts, as his window rattles as a rock hits it. Racing out of bed, Zitao opens the window and peers down. The three guys from Denny's smile up at him, a dusty gold pickup truck humming in the background. 

"Get in, we've got places to be." Jongdae calls out. Zitao sighs, shaking his head and turning back in to put on some real clothes. By the time he turns back to the window a small pile of rocks has gathered by the window. 

"So what in hell is going on?" Zitao asks, being lead to the truck. 

"Well tomorrow night you're going to be hosting one of the best parties of the fucking spring break, that's what." Chanyeol grins, patting Zitao on the back. The Chinese teen can hear Kyungsoo mumble that his would have been the best if it weren't for Zitao ruining his. 

"Look, I told you that I can't." Zitao stammers as they near the truck. He tries to explain that he's sure his host family wouldn't be ok with it, and that it would be such late notice, and that his host brother Kris certainly would be weirded out by all of it. 

"Don't worry man, we've got it all planned out, you just gotta follow along." Kyungsoo smiled, patting Zitao's back before pushing him into the back of the pickup truck. Zitao watched as Chanyeol and Jongdae clambered into the back of the truck, while Kyungsoo rode inside the actual thing. As Zitao hopped inside the flatbed, he realized there were a few other people sprawled out in the back as well. 

The truck begins to move almost as soon as Zitao sets foot in it. The driver, someone who he recognizes as a senior and friend of Kris's, Minseok, seems to only vaguely know what he's doing, and everyone in the back is near constantly being slammed around. There are two other people in the back of the truck aside from Chanyeol and Jongdae, two other Chinese exchange students, Luhan and Yixing. The latter is as high as a kite, pupils blown out, head tilted back and eyes almost shut, while the former is sober and annoyed. Yixing is not really the party type as far as Zitao knows, but neither is Luhan. Both are holding cans of Arizona tea, and Yixing is absentmindedly flicking on and off a lighter. 

The drive to wherever they're going is not long, but their destination is strange. Why they were arriving at Home Depot at 5:45 was beyond him, but it seemed like most things were at this point. Zitao hated the illogical, but it was starting to hurt his brain to sort out and make order of this chaos. _Kinda like figuring out Young Thug lyrics_ , Zitao thinks, and then realizes that that was what was blaring out of the truck right then. 

When they arrive at Home Depot, they don't really go into the store, instead entering the "employee barn" in the back. The entire building is dark, cool and smells vaguely of carrots and weed. Kyungsoo pulls out a lawnchair at the table and sits down, the rest of the boys following, each taking a well known seat at the table. It almost looked choreographed. Kyungsoo, while the shortest guy sitting at the table, easily made up for his lack of height by intimidation and confidence.

Within twenty minutes, a multitude of other people flood in, all being boys Zitao can recognize from school. There was Jongin, who was currently failing three classes, Baekhyun, who worked at the local Specs (how he got to work at a liquor store while being clearly a minor was an unanswerable question) and Sehun, who was still wearing his Home Depot apron. All three of them took their seats at the table, and it seemed to be that there was a hierarchy in seating. More important people, like Kyungsoo and Minseok, sat in the nicer chairs at the front, while less important people, like Sehun and Zitao were positioned in the back in dingy older chairs. 

"Zitao! I didn't know you hung out with these guys!" Sehun whisper-yelled to him excitedly, brushing back a strand of rainbow hair behind his ear. The sophomore was beaming from ear to ear, exposing the edges of his clear retainer. 

"I didn't either, I kinda accidentally crashed into Kyungsoo's party with Kris and puked on some chick Kyungsoo was trying to get with. Then they dragged me here." Zitao explained.

Sehun still looked ecstatic. The sophomore thought juniors like Kyungsoo and Jongdae were cool, and the occasional senior like Minseok that rolled with their clique was seen as even cooler. Zitao wasn't sure why the boys let Sehun stay with them, but he had a feeling that it was just to build an image of a close group of very good looking guys. This could be the only reason why they were letting a rather nerdy exchange student like him stay with them too. 

Zitao was awoken from his thoughts by a loud banging on the table. "Alright alright, meeting in fucking session, here we go." Minseok said, hand slamming against the wood of the table and nine heads turning to face him. "Look boys, after the success of last year's spring break, we've decided to duplicate it this year."

Minseok's words were met with whoops and hollers. "So this Saturday, Luhan graced us with a spring break kick off party at his place. Tonight is Jongdae and Chanyeol's band's concert." More whoops, and this time they were accompanied by pats on the back and thumbs ups. 

Jongdae stood up. "Alright y'all, me 'n the boys are gonna be playing at Jo's on 35th. Bring yourselves, your friends, your girls, some alcohol, good shit." He sat back down, but was pushed back up by Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. "Oh yeah, and for the record, the next party is gonna be hosted by no other than Tao himself!" Jongdae rushed, sitting down. 

Tao's eyes widened. He had nearly forgotten about that. "Wait, like, I'm an exchange student. I really have no clue what's going on. Can't you guys have it at someone else's house?"

"Dude, you've got to host it." Jongin says so lackadaisically that it is comic. 

"And why is that? You guys haven't told me anything!"

"You puked on the tits of the chick Kyungsoo was trying to sleep with. Now you have to carry the burden of your house getting trashed, like how you trashed that girl's tatas." Baekhyun explains, followed up by a chorus of mumbled agreements. 

"So I'm supposed to host a party tomorrow? And what's supposed to be at this party? And who? How will my parents agree to it?" Zitao asks, beginning to panic. 

"God he really is clueless," Chanyeol murmurs. 

Zitao still feels just as clueless hours later, at 3pm at his house. He's groggily trying to stay awake, and Minseok is there, talking to Kris. Minseok's mother is also there, a woman with a very poofy bob cut, a loud mouth and a thick Staten Island accent. 

"I'm just soooo happy that Minseok has found his passion for photography, it's a wonderful hobby. He's even covering for a concert tonight." Mrs Kim brags, tapping long fake nails on the table. "He'd help the photography team for the yearbook cover all the sports events, but you know how busy the boys are with soccer."

Mrs Wu rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed slightly by the bragging of her friend. "Yes, Kris was anticipating that tournament for a while. Now what's this about a concert? I heard Kris talking about it over the phone."

Mrs Kim grins from ear to ear and all heads in the room quickly turn towards her. "It's some student concert. I think a lot of Minseok's friends are going, and he's getting _backstage access_! Now, isn't that special?"

Zitao and Kris easily see Minseok mouth the words _I'm so sorry_.

\----

Mrs Kim's words ring true, Minseok does have backstage access. However, so does Zitao, Kris, Kyungsoo and the rest of the boys. Jongdae's band is performing in some seedy pub actually named Hole In The Wall that seemed like every mother's worst nightmare for her son to go to. Baekhyun says "it has everything", from an angry bartender named Jo, vaguely homosexual gogo dancers, a man who appears to be in the mafia, and a troop of mimes (fun sized, Chanyeol calls them). Zitao spends his first ten minutes there in the bathroom with the rest of the boys, washing off the Xs drawn onto his hands, marking him as a minor. Kyungsoo and the rest of the guys are chattering happily, and Zitao suddenly feels a longing to join in, but he cannot seem to find an opening in the conversation. 

They are still chattering as they head up to the front of the pub, standing as close to the stage as possible. While the equipment is up, Jongdae, Chanyeol, and the rest of their band are nowhere to be found. Zitao hears one of the guys say that they're probably drinking outside or something like that. _I'm living in a shitty teen movie_ , Zitao thinks to himself, rolling his eyes. 

Ten minutes from the start of the start of the show, Zitao realizes he is missing something crucial: the knowledge of what is going on with Jongdae's band. He's only vaguely friends with the guy, doesn't know a single thing about the boy's music taste save for the Dead Boys t-shirt the junior always wore. Judging by the multitude of Sex Pistols and The Clash paraphernalia there are on the walls, this place seemed to generally hold punk bands. 

"Hey Kris?"

"Yeah?"

"What type of band are Jongdae and Chanyeol in?"

Kris opens his mouth to answer, but the curtains split to reveal the band standing on the dingy stage. Jongdae is still wearing his trademark sunglasses, and Chanyeol is grinning the same smile from behind the drum kit. Jongdae starts announcing their band and goes through a bunch of mumbo jumbo that Zitao forgets in a minute. However, the words yelled right before the first song starts certainly set the mood for the rest of the concert. 

"Alright, we're the Dicks, and this song is called We Hate The Police!"

As soon as Jongdae and his bandmates jump into the crowd Zitao knows he will not forget this night. 

\----

After Jongdae's band finishes their set the next band is on. And the next. And the next. It seems to be an endless array of bands, each band seeming to get increasingly loud, until the ringing in Zitao's ears makes him grimace. Jongdae seems to notice and leads him out of the dingy tavern and into the back alleyway. They sit down on old wood carts and around cardboard boxes, with the scuttling of mice among the detritus and the chirping of crickets as ambiance. Jongdae pulls out the familiar altoids box full of tobacco and rolls a cigarette. 

"So, uh, nice show." Zitao says, looking up at the only half working street lamp that illuminated their section of the alleyway. 

Jongdae smiles around his cigarette, turning to Zitao. "Thanks. I didn't figure you'd be the punk rock type." He passes it to Zitao in what seems to be a habit. 

"Uh, thanks." Zitao says, looking down at the cigarette. He didn't smoke, but he was eager to impress. Mimicking Jongdae's motions, he brought the cigarette to his lips. 

Jongdae chuckles as Zitao grimaces and then coughs, smoke escaping his mouth. Zitao glares at him through teary eyes as Jongdae slaps his knees. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Why did you even pass this to me?"

Jongdae's chuckles begin to die out. "It's habit. I always share them with Kyungsoo. You didn't have to." 

And as he takes the cigarette back, Jongdae suddenly seems so much more human to Zitao. 

\----

Zitao's watch reads 2:43 AM in light green numbers. The clock on the bar reads tequila time. While Zitao doesn't know when tequila time really is, he has his doubts that it is at 2:43 AM. Long ago had his gang of fellow high schoolers had celebrated the scrubbing off of the Xs that once adorned their hands and scrambled over to the bar. Zitao had followed them, not wanting to be left out and excited to see what made his friends run over there. _So this is what teen life is like outside of China_ , thinks Zitao. He knows this is all so wrong, drinking and smoking and passing around all of the illicit drugs that haunted the place, but the toxicity of this life intrigues him. 

Kyungsoo is up in the DJ's booth, trying his best to DJ and drink a screwdriver at the same time. The real DJ had long left the building, and Kyungsoo had been more than eager to show off his "sick DJing skills". These "skills" seem to be splicing up clips of Turn Down For What with I'm Sexy and I Know It and bass-boosting the whole thing to high hell. The walls shake and the air is muggy, and the moshpit had long ago turned into a mass of moving bodies pulsating along to the same beat. Some girl had grabbed Zitao's ass nearly twelve times in the last fifteen minutes and Kris had already punched two different men in the face. Half of his newly found gang of friends are nowhere to be found, and the other half are far too intoxicated to be of any help. 

A body swings from the ceiling, arms deftly grappling to the bars and beams that ran parallel and perpendicular to it. After a few minutes of swinging about, the person falls, directly left of Zitao, falling into Minseok and Luhan, both of which are stoned out of their of their minds. The person appears to be Jongdae, and he crowdsurfs over to where Zitao is, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Hey!" Jongdae shouts, loud over the music. His face is barely illuminated by the flashing lights and smog, and all of his features seem to be overacted in an attempt to be seen through the chaos. 

"What's going on?" Zitao exclaims, grabbing on to the other male's shoulder. 

"The fucking party is going on!" Jongdae yells, and almost seemingly synchronized, the bass drops and an electronic voice stating "DJ Soo 499" plays all too loud. This combination seems too ridiculous for the two, and both began to laugh. 

"This is insane!" Zitao exclaims, staring in a mixture of shock and awe at Kyungsoo's overdramatic DJ set. 

"This is Kyungsoo every time he gets to DJ." Jongdae responds, perfectly deadpan. Judging by the facial expression, Zitao decides that this happens far too often for his new found friends to laugh at as much as he is. 

Zitao would open his mouth to fire off a witty retort, but he is nearly kicked in the face by a man in a zebra mask crowd surfing on a blow up raft. Said man screams something about partying, and the distinct Chinese accent gave it away as Yixing. The teen smelled far too much like a combination of tequila and gin, and judging by the small amount of white powder visible on his chin, he may have been on something else as well. Zitao rolls his eyes, he preferred the man stoned to strung out and drunk. 

\----

Zitao wakes up sprawled on a blow-up mattress, limbs tangled up with many other people's. There is a ringing in his ears and a pounding in his head, and a girl in his bed. _Wait,_ Zitao thinks to himself, _a girl? Since when?_ Zitao quickly goes through the list of Girls He Knows and it is not long. Another glance at the girl lying on the edge of the blowup mattress and he realizes the figure is not that as much of a girl as it is a boy in drag. 

A quick flashback makes him realize that they picked up the guy in drag three quarters through the night, right after Kyungsoo's DJ set and before the start after that seemingly snack-themed edm group, Crispi Crunch. His name was Hyoseob, and his dress was made of newspaper clippings (one in particular read "Police make off with 30 pounds of crack cocaine from alligator farming floridians") and despite the fact that he was in drag, he was still wearing the newest yeezies ("you gotta always stay fresh," Hyoseob had answered). After picking up Hyoseob up they had gathered a few other people from the club and made their way into some connivence store (judging by the receipt stuck to Chanyeol's arm it was a CVS) with far too much alcohol (one of the many benefits of coming in at 2AM is that no one cared enough to care you). 

While the rest of the night was a blur, Zitao was sure of around three things. One, he had managed to fall asleep in his glasses, tangled up with the bassist for Jongdae's band and the aforementioned teenager in drag, and his glasses had not so much as come off his face. Two, the alibi for the night had gone through, as upon checking his phone his host mother had not texted him even once angrily, and three, nothing R rated had gone down as miraculously everyone was fully clothed and completely asleep. Upon further investigation of he house and it's occupants, Zitao realized that it did not belong to any of the teenagers he knew and that the snack-themed duo of DJs (crispi crunch, Zitao remembered, as they sounded like a cereal) were also there, asleep in an actual bed. 

Zitao begins to explore the house, finding Advil for his hangover and finding Kyungsoo in the kitchen, chatting with the guitarist of Jongdae's band. 

"Morning, Tao." Kyungsoo says, holding up his mug of coffee as a greeting. "How's the head?"

Zitao pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and glares wholeheartedly at the shorter teen. "I feel like I died."

The guitarist (Kyung, Zitao later realizes) nods his head knowingly. "Water. You gotta drink water while you drink." 

"What time is it?" Zitao asks, and then looks around the house, scanning the walls for a clock. "And where are we?"

"We're at those guys' house. Y'know, the gay snack DJs." Kyungsoo then looks down at his fake expensive watch. "And it's 7:45 AM. Which means we have like twelve hours until your party."

Zitao feels something inside him deflate. "We're really still having that? Haven't you had enough of partying? Why not a nice long scrabble session?"

Kyung chuckles. "But there's no alcohol involved."

"Fine, scrabble and wine!"

"It's okay, your host parents are gonna be away." Kyungsoo smiles a knowing smile, readjusting his hair. 

Zitao squints at the boy in disbelief. "How do you know that?"

"Your parents go to play bridge with my mom and all the other parents. It's like a Monday night thing, don't think I didn't know."  
Kyungsoo pauses to let the information sink in. "And my mom may have decided to bring vodka instead of wine this time. They're not coming back." Kyungsoo winks, clearly behind the whole scheme. 

Zitao cradles his head in his hands. He has given up. There is nothing he can do.


	2. The most beautiful girl in the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minsik is Sik-k (of smtm4 fame), not a bad misspelling of Minseok/Xiumin's name.

"I thiiink Iiii've found the moooost beeeautiful girl." Minsik hums, slinging arms around Jongdae and Chanyeol. The two, while drunk, are not as drunk as the bassist. 

"And who would that be?" Chanyeol asks, only trying to fuel the fire at this point. Minsik is too far gone to help. 

"Y'see that lady over there, lookin' all fine an' all? Yeah, I think she's the love of my life." Minsik says, staring at the girl down the bar. 

Jongdae squints his eyes to see better in the gritty bar light. The girl is wearing a dress that looks like it is made of newspaper clippings, and her hair is cut short enough to show off some of the hair growing on her neck. "Bro, that's a guy in drag."

Minsik does not hear him. Minsik wanders over to the girl. Jongdae and Chanyeol slam their faces into their hands in unison. There is no helping Minsik after this many shots, only watching him crash and burn. 

"Hey gorgeous," Minsik warbles, leaning close to the person, who was now obviously a teenager in drag. "how are you tonight."

"I'm alright." The boy says in a low voice, far more sober than Minseok. He gives the teenager an odd look. 

"Oh god, what is going on?" Zitao asks, walking up to the two onlookers. Chanyeol's feeble attempts to explain the occurrence do not encapsulate the fantastic quantity of failure Minsik is exhibiting. 

"Well," Jongdae shifts his attention from his bandmate to Zitao. "Minsik has found 'the love of his life' and he's off to try and get into her pants."

"But that's a guy"

Chanyeol chuckles "I don't think Minsik gets that."

Zitao cocks his head to the side. "When do you reckon he will?"

Meanwhile, Minsik is deeply embroiled in his conversation, trying to keep his brain operating at a conversational level and not slip off into a complete drunken stupor. _Think of something to say, please,_ Minsik begged himself in his head. "So, now that we've talked a bit, what's your name?" 

"Seo Chulgoo." Chulgoo smiles sweetly, exposing bright teeth and crinkled eyes. Minsik can feel his heart tumble down his chest. 

"I'm Minsik. Chulgoo is such a pretty name though, I haven't met a girl with it." At these words Jongdae and Chanyeol nearly lose it, silently cackling and muttering variations of "because it's a guys' name" to each other and Zitao. 

"Err... Yes. Thanks." Chulgoo smiles awkwardly, realizing that _Minsik didn't know_. Wanting to keep the conversation, he turned back to Minsik. "Would you like me to buy you a drink? What would you like?"

Minsik is flabbergasted. "Oh, wow sure, uh, thanks. I'll have a... beer...." He trails off, realizing that he didn't know the name of any brand of beer, and that that probably wasn't cool and that that was a problem and that his thoughts were trailing on for far too long. 

"What kind?" 

"Surprise me."

\----

"Oh, _come on_ , just let me have some!" Sehun whines, begging and reaching for the water bottle full of gin Kyungsoo is holding. Some of the people in the club are staring at them, but Sehun is drunk enough not to care.

"I'm not giving a freshman alcohol! Now get your grubby hands off!" Kyungsoo shrieked, whipping away Sehun's hands from his arm. 

"Freshman? I'm a fucking sophomore! Now gimme!" Sehun wails, lightly stomping his foot. 

"You can have some of mine," Chanyeol smiles, holding up a metal flask. "but it's Jack Daniels."

Their small little crowd of high schoolers oohs and ahhs at this. "Oh, but bro you know who loves Jack Daniels?" Jongdae grins. 

"Aw man, but I just love having him inside of me." Minseok winks, laughing. 

"No one can deny Minseok's homoerotic affiliation with Jack Daniels, but let us not forget Jongin's night of pure debauchery with his good friend Kahlua." Kyung states, pushing Jongin closer into the circle. 

"When did this happen?" Zitao asks, staring at Jongin, clearly confused. 

"Oh man, it was so fucked. Jongin downed like an entire bottle of Kahlua at Choi Sam's sweet sixteen and got really fuckin' lit. He stood up in the middle of the whole thing, grabbed Sam's mom's ass and went "Oooh, Mrs Sam, it'd be my ultimate pleasure to fuck both you and your daughter at the same time."" Luhan says, stumbling through the sentences, clearly far too drunk to be completely coherent. 

Jongin blushes, hiding his head in his hands and sighing. He despised being laughed at, especially by Kyungsoo, a man he revered like the second coming of Christ. He wants no more of this, and tries to back out of the circle. Chanyeol seems to clearly notice this and decides to interfere. 

"Guys, it was a quality instance, but it'll never compare to the absolute _legend_ of Pancake Dick." His words are met with whoops and hollers, and many claps from the boys around him. 

"Again, when the fuck did this happen?" Zitao asks, mildly horrified by the name of the story. 

"Oh, bro, it took place in a time before you. A time when our throats were dry, our noses were empty, but our fingers were wet. We were at Minseok's place, Sehun had just tried acid for the first time, y'know? Yeah, he like fuckin' lost it, actin' all crazy and shit, tryna pick fights with couches an' shit. So eventually we just locked him in the guest bathroom and left to pick up some more drinks at the Specs, where Baek works, an' when we come back... oh dear lord. Sehun, we couldn't find him at all in the house, he was _gone_. But then we see Minseok's neighbor's window open, and Sehun sticks his head out, and he's in _the nude_. He starts wailing "Oh guys, I found the goddess of love! I've gotta please her!"." Jongdae pauses for dramatic effect, and Sehun takes the time to wail in protest.

Someone yells"We thought he was gonna commit rape!"

"Yeah, and so we walk over into the house, no clue how he got in, all the doors were locked, he let us in through the window, and there he is, fully naked. Not only is he in his birthday suit, but he's like got like his dick, like somehow _fully erect_ , in the neighbors' pancake machine thing. HE WAS FUCKIN' THE PANCAKE MACHINE! So it took like all of us, but we got him out of it, completely _drenched_ in pancake batter and the neighbors came in at that time, it was like hell!"

Minseok takes the time to add his two cents. "They almost pressed charges!"

Sehun's expression quickly changes into a grin. "Aw, mate, but it was worth it because it was such a sick night!" His words were met with cheers and hollers. 

Minsik can vaguely hear their words and stories, recounted and shouted, proclaimed like some sort of drunken Shakespearean sonnet legend, an ode to times more fucked up. He worries slightly, a little afraid that he may become one of them far too soon if this night goes poorly. But Kibum is there, smiling and dancing and now a little more than tipsy, and he is there, drunk and excited and the dance floor is open. Minsik finds his way there and tries to focus all his energy into looking good while dancing, swaying his body just so and looking as appealing as possible to this new person he's snagged, but in the back of his mind he remembers the stories his friends have told and he _fears_ them, is afraid he'll become one of them. He pushes the thoughts away and soon returns to checking out Kibum while dancing. 

\----

Kyungsoo loves coffee, and right now he loves the photos on his phone. He's drinking his new mug of it, black coffee without anything in it, and going through the photos of last night at the bar, and _Jésus Christo_ are they good. There are some selfies he took with friends and hot girls, shots of Jongdae's band playing, a few screenshots of beautiful chicks they met at the bar off of Chanyeol's snapchat, and the rest are pure comedy gold. They're all of Minsik, drunk off his ass, and dancing with the guy in drag they met. There is one where Minsik and the guy are kissing, and it is so obvious that Minsik has no clue it's a guy in drag, even when the Adam's apple is defined on him and the tight green dress shows that he has no breasts or curves. He sure knows he'll be texting them to Minsik over the group chat post-spring break. 

When Kyung walks up, all tired and bleary, baggy eyed and asks about what happened, Kyungsoo is more than happy to recap, knowing that he and Kris were the closest to sober that night. 

They had all gotten far too drunk to go home, and without a place to safely go, they searched for someone to crash with. Kyungsoo had bumped into the DJ duo Crispi Crunch after their set and used his charm to try and wile them into a friendship. Somehow he had won their hearts, and the fourteen boys (Kibum included) found themselves stumbling down the street, following a more sober and gay duo ahead of them. All fourteen were lead into a large, spacious apartment, and managed to blow up two giant air mattresses in the living room before passing out in a massive tangle of limbs, arms splayed and bodies akimbo. The alibi had been made on the way there, everyone telling their parents that they were staying over at Baekhyun's house and Baekhyun telling his mom that he was over at Kyungsoo's. 

Kyung nodded thoughtfully, mentally making a note to remind him to thank the men for letting them use their house. Why they let fourteen fucked up trashy teenagers sleep in their apartment was a notion far beyond his reasoning. 

But there are far more important things at hand than thanking a benevolent gay couple, like planning for the party they'd have tonight. Things were already planned, parents were away and people were invited. Do Kyungsoo does not fuck around when it comes to parties, especially ones during the breaks. He has a reputation to keep, after all. While little Zitao may have been a newbie when it came to the art of throwing such a thing, he and Kris were far more seasoned party veterans, with the senior showing him the way in his younger years. 

The aforementioned party newbie walked into the kitchen closer to eight than to seven, with mussed hair and glasses akimbo, asking about where they were and what was going on. Kyung and Kyungsoo are more than happy to clear it up with him, cheerfully reminding him of the party that was going to happen by the end of the day. Kyung chuckles lightly at the exchange student's surprise, but he is kinder than Kyungsoo. 

Zitao sits down at the counter, next to the two shorter teens. Eventually he asks what he would need for a party, completely unsure of what was going to happen. _Maybe they don't throw parties in China,_ Kyungsoo thinks to himself, sipping his coffee, _or maybe he's a giant nerd._

"Alcohol and fireworks." Kyung grins, answering before Kyungsoo can open his mouth. "You're gonna need those. I think Chanyeol can supply any other illicit substances." Kyung smiles the same shiteating smile that he uses any time when a large word is said. He was a lover of sesquipedalian language, even when it didn't fit the occasion (Chanyeol swears that this is just because Kyung is in AP English and has high marks in every single class, soccer included). 

"Illicit substances? What do you mean?" Zitao asks, voice small and worried. 

Kyungsoo thinks of all the things that could freak out the Chinese teen. "Cocaine, molly, weed, y'know, the normal stuff." While he's never had all three at the same time at a party, he likes to impress. It's all about image. 

"You're all horrible people. Not only is there going to be underage drinking, but this? I would be killed for this back home!" Zitao hollers, even though he still has a hangover and really does not have room for this. 

It appears that all of the yelling has awoken Minseok, who groggily walks to the counter. "God, don't get your panties in a knot, princess. It's not like we're killing anyone or shooting up heroin."

"I don't even know where you'd buy alcohol!" 

Zitao learns to quickly regret those words, as only two hours later he is trudging to a back alleyway, following Minseok and bring tailed by Jongin and Sehun. Minseok had decided to take the young trio on an "educational field trip" to where "you'd learn to be a fucking man who buys real alcohol". The four sit there, leaning against the wall of an old abandoned apartment building, one where the walls are graffitied and the windows are cracked, and you can hear the rats inside. 

After about five or ten minutes of waiting, the rumbling of a car on gravel is easily heard, and quickly a cop car speeds and swerves through the alley, stopping upon seeing Minseok and co. Jongin and Zitao's eyes widen dramatically, surprised by the fact that on their hunt for alcohol they were being stopped by a cop. 

Two young men stumble out of the car, twin smiles plastered on their faces. They were in uniform, but by body language alone you could tell the men did not take their jobs seriously. The taller one, a slim brunette with smiling eyes and a nametag that read "officer Ahn Jaehyo" stepped forward, while his partner, a shorter stockier brunette who's nametag read "officer Lee Taeil" raised a pistol, striking fear into the hearts of three of the four adolescents. Minseok was unperturbed by this display. 

"Aye, wassup boys!" Jaehyo smiles, patting Minseok's shoulder. Taeil lowers the gun, and the tension is markedly lowered. 

"We're lookin' for some top-shelf shit." Minseok states, straight to the point, staring at both men. 

"You're a minor, I'm afraid that's real illegal. You're going to have to be arrested." Taeil says, stone cold and devoid of emotion. The younger teens cringe in fear. Taeil pauses. "Ah, I'm just fucking with you. We've got your shit in the trunk."

Jaehyo and Taeil open the trunk of the cop car, revealing a cornucopia of alcohol, fireworks and some powdery, vaguely white substances that Zitao is sure are illegal. The display was slightly shocking. Cops, selling illegal things to minors, who were most certainly going to abuse them. 

"Now, I know you well Minseok, and while I don't know these faggots," officer Jaehyo chuckles low, gesturing to Zitao, Jongin and Sehun, and particularly Sehun, with his rainbow coif and matching rainbow Live Aid t-shirt. "I think we'll still give you a good deal."

"Now, this deal's fuckin' nuts, you'd better know that." Taeil grins, pearly teeth flashing. "A deal you can't refuse. Everyone knows this is a great deal. Even demons know!" Kibum has always loved drawn out speeches and theatrics. 

"Even demons know how good our shit is. When you confiscate this much shit everyday, you save the top tier stuff!" Jaehyo adds, gesturing to the trunk. 

"We'll sell you three fourths of the entire truck for only two hundred fifty bucks. Hella good deal for this much stuff, a real steal." Taeil says, patting the trunk. 

Minseok raises a quizzical eyebrow. "What's in it?"

Taeil's grin nearly split his cheeks. "Oh, how glad I am you asked. We've got top shelf tequila, mescal, vodka, whiskey. Ridiculously expensive shit, y'know, caught it from illegal sellers. But not only do we have that, we have fireworks, free of charge!" He pauses to breath, then gestures to more things in the trunk. "And we got the best weed. Not much weed, but a good amount, and it's good shit. 'Ts called trainwreck, 'cause it'll fuck you up!"

Jaehyo nods. "We smoked some few days ago, highest I've ever been, no joke. But not only do we have that, we have some molly. Can't give you all the molly, we owe the entire HR department some, but there's some molly in there."

Jongin and Minsik look at each other and nod. "We'll take it for sure."

Taeil smiles almost predatorily. "We'll sell it on one condition."

"And that is?"

"You invite us to your party tonight."

"Done deal."

The two officers help load all of the stuff into the back of Kris's car, an old thing that he has spent far too much time working on (an '84 Chrysler Lebaron Kris has affectionately named Labron). It barely fits, but they manage it all in, and Kris and Minseok pay the officers in straight cash, earning a loud "DAAAAMN" and questions on how they got the money. Minseok and Kris smile twin smiles and refuse to self incriminate. 

"Alright now y'all, be responsible!" The two officers call out jokingly as the five teens piled into the car. 

The aforementioned car is surprisingly roomy, and the entire thing looks just as it would have in it's original date of creation, save for the speaker system (Kris has replaced it with the largest speakers possible with the most bass he could get, because he "don't fuck around with pussy speakers"). Said speakers were only playing _Aquaberry Backfist_ by Riff Raff, Kris's second favorite artist, and icon, and currently his favorite song. Zitao has no clue how his host parents let Kris become the way he is, but he won't question it. Life is easier this way, just letting the strange, strange occurrences happen the way they did. 

\----

Baekhyun is having the time of his life. He is currently working at a cafe he is not employed at, under the name Kim Jongdae, and while the boss hasn't noticed, the rest of the wait staff certainly has. Currently two of them were talking about him, and while one of them is convinced he's an imposter, the other isn't so sure, though how she hadn't figured it out is an idea inconceivable to Baekhyun. Why he was working at Jongdae's job was so the taller teen could go, with Kyungsoo and Chanyeol (who somehow had been on "bathroom break" for the past two hours) to find more things for the party, a long list that included hot girls, acid, and a ridiculous amount of balloons. 

It wasn't that Baekhyun was against partying, he liked getting shitfaced and dancing to the chacha slide for thirty minutes as much as the next guy, but Baekhyun simply wasn't the one with connections. Sure, he had a dealer (the same dealer that Jongin, Kyung and Minsik (the trio also happened to listen to their dealer's mixtapes, which were, to be honest, not good at all) had, sure, but he _had_ one.) but he wasn't the guy who got cute girls to go to parties or the guy who bought the shit or even the guy in charge of organizing. No, he was the look out, the man who made sure that nothing too horrible happened, made sure no one got into too much trouble. 

But oh lord, Baekhyun loved trouble, and Minsik was far deep in that. Right there he sat at the cafe, across from Chulgoo, who was no longer in women's clothing, and both were visibly uncomfortable. Why Minsik asked Chulgoo out on a date when he should have known that Chulgoo was not a girl was a question unanswerable to all parties both involved and not involved, but Baekhyun loved the oodles and oodles of cringe that just _oozed_ from the whole thing. 

Minsik was panicking. He had been sitting there in the cafe across from Chulgoo for a whole fifteen minutes now, and it was far too obvious now that Chulgoo was not a girl in the slightest. He was nearly Minsik's height, dressed in a baggy hoodie and a snapback and there was no denying that he had asked a man out on a date. Was it too late to say 'no homo' to this?

"So, um, you're actually a guy?"

Chulgoo rolled his eyes and chuckled. "You actually thought I was a girl? I thought you were joking."

"Uh... yeah." Minsik looks down at his coffee and muffin and tries to avoid eye contact, hoping that maybe he can just melt into a puddle. 

Chulgoo looks at Minsik, fidgeting and embarrassed, and feels a pang of sympathy for the teen. "If it helps, you seem like a cool dude and I'm fine with going on a date with you."

Minsik looks up at Chulgoo, face still partially obstructed by his muffin as he slowly shuffled up into proper posture in his chair. "But I'm not gay."

"That's not how you acted last night."

"I didn't know you were a guy!"

Chulgoo stares at Minsik blankly. This may have been the most dense man he has met in the entirety of his life. "How?"

Baekhyun ducks behind the coffee machine. This is the funniest shit, funnier that the time Chanyeol got stuck in an air vent in a hotel, funnier than the time Luhan taught Sehun how to "speak chinese" (the only phrase Sehun ever learned was _cao ni ma_ ). He pulled out his phone to snapchat the duo at the table, drawing little hearts by them. 

"You had makeup on!"

"I have an Adam's apple!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the references made in this chapter are mainly from Millenium Child by Neel Kolhatkar (both the pancake and 16th birthday party stories were based on that). You should definitely check him out, he's a hilarious comedian. The cops with alcohol is a reference to Staten Island summer. Tell me what you think about the story so far.


	3. The ì makes it more lìt

Snapchat from: SexyBaek

Jongdae opens it to find a photo of Minsik and whatever guy he had found last night (Chulwoon? Hoonchul? Jongdae couldn't remember names to save his life) with hearts around it, captioned _Minsik's hot new gf??_. He quickly flips it to Chanyeol, who nearly crashes the car, laughing a maniacal laugh. 

"Mate, I'll bet you twenty bucks that they'll be dating before spring break ends." Chanyeol grins, turning quickly down a farm road. 

"Nah, Minsik's fuckin' scared of everything. It's not gonna happen. I expect that twenty to be mine, 'Yeol." Jongdae quipped, leaning back even further in his seat. 

"What if it's in secret?" Kyungsoo asks from the back of the car, not even looking up from his phone. Jongdae's seat in front is pressing far too close for his liking, but saying anything would give his friend satisfaction. 

"Minsik can't keep a secret to save his life." Jongdae smiles, flicking through a photo album on his phone titled Minsik Doing Stupid Things. 

The car ride quickly becomes a roast session, with everything of Minsik's being called out, from the time he made himself a grill by spraypainting his retainer silver to the time his mom caught him vaping. However, the whole conversation was cut short as Chanyeol parked by an old beat up truck at a familiar farm field. 

"Boooooooys." A low, drawling Australian accent called out as soon as the teenagers stepped out of the vehicle. A tall boy, tan and in a tank top sporting a mop of hair and a can of beer in hand exited out of a trailer. Minhyuk, local college student was infamous for two things: being insanely Australian, and growing insane amounts of weed. Minhyuk didn't do much, but what he does do, he does in excess. 

"Minyuk, how goes it?" Chanyeol asks. He had always been the closest to Minhyuk, with his older brother having been friends with him. 

"Oi, weatha's good, been growing a lot. Gotta love spring break mate, hot chicks everywhere, 'specially by the lake." Minhyuk gestures with his tall bottle of beer to the general direction of the local lake.

"You said growing's good? Any chance I can buy a good amount off of you?" Chanyeol asks, to the point, already taking a look around at the "farm". 

Minhyuk was majoring in agricultural specialties in college, and his knowledge was obvious. The few acres of land he lived on had been converted into a giant weed farm, with marijuana plants growing past shoulder height in rows upon rows. Minhyuk supplied at least half of all of the dealers in the tricounty area, and his influence was prolific.

"Oh man, ya' dealing again? Can't blame ya, 't's the time to do it anyways." Minhyuk says, looking not in particular at any of the three. 

"Nah, we're throwing a party. Need a lot of weed." Jongdae said, staring at the little trailer Minhyuk took up residence in. It was covered in spray paint in a relatively camo pattern. 

"Ya came to the right place then, boys." Minhyuk grinned, gesturing to all of his pot plants with his ever-present bottle of beer. "I got it all. I can even sell you a garbage bag full of weed."

Kyungsoo raised a quizzical brow. "A garbage bag full?"

"Oh yeah, it's the cheap stuff, isn't good quality but there's a hell of a lot of it. I'll sell it to ya for... eh... How does 150 sound?"

"Sounds alright, yeah." Chanyeol smiles, nodding.

The boys walk back to their vehicle holding what might have been the largest amount of weed they had ever been in possession of. After loud bouts of arguing, eventually the group decided to keep it in the back of the car, deeming it the "safest spot". Jongdae, now sequestered in the backseat (Kyungsoo refused to be forced in "the children's seats" both there and back, with Jongdae near crushing him by leaning far too back), found that it made a remarkably good pillow, taking as many selfies with the bag (now deemed "the potllow", courtesy of Chanyeol's horrible puns) as possible and sending them all to Yixing (who for the record only responded with tongue, heart and fire emojis). 

\----

"Teach me your ways, wise one." Jongin says, leaning on the edge of the bathtub in Minseok's bathroom. He had found himself at the elder's house after their confrontation with the cops, and the older boy had mentioned how to get girls. 

"It's all in the hair man. Bitches love good hair." Minseok says, leaning against the wall. 

"Like what kind of hair?" Jongin asks. He had been single for most of his life, and with an upcoming party, he thought he could get some digits. 

Minseok pauses, tilting his head in thought. "Well, I guess you gotta have hair that matches you, something that goes along with how you look."

"And what's that for you?" 

"Frosted tips. My frosted tips get me pussy." Minseok grinned. He remembers back a year ago when he had bleach blonde hair (it was a fucking _swag_ dye job thank you very much), and how now only the ends were that color (it was a retro throwback if you asked him). 

"You're fucking kidding me, no way do girls actually like that." Jongin said, but twenty minutes later he found himself in the process of bleaching the ends of the hair. _Remind me to never, ever listen to Minseok again,_ Jongin thinks to himself, cursing his impulsiveness. 

Jongin stares at himself deeply in the mirror. "Bitches love the frosted tips, it looks swag," rang in his ears. God, he hoped Minseok was right. 

\----

Everyone meets back up at Home Depot, sans Kris, who was taking care of the parental aspect of the plan. In the well hidden "employee barn", Zitao truly realized how cramped it was, now with a bar's full of alcohol and a garbage bag full of weed. Where all the money to buy this much pot and alcohol came from was a mystery to Zitao, but he figured it was the main reason why everyone in his new friend group had a job. 

"Alright boys," Kyungsoo checks his ever present watch "we have about five hours till the party. We have the alcohol and the weed to do it, but it's gonna be a huge sausagefest if y'all don't bring chicks."

Yixing leans over to Zitao, far too close for the other Chinese boy's liking. He smells like weed and Arizona tea and maybe a little axe deodorant. "I thought we were supposed to bring the weed." He drawls slowly in mandarin. 

"Your brain is fuckin' fried man. We're supposed to bring girls, since we're the "hot foreign boys"." Luhan quips back in mandarin, quiet enough to where only Yixing and Zitao can hear it. 

"Pretty sure like half of this table is gay, bro." Yixing says back, but louder and not at all in mandarin this time, and the rest of the table hears it this time. Baekhyun gasps a loud fake gasp, covering his mouth with a hand as dramatically as possible. 

"I am THE token gay member." Baekhyun says, going in for the overreaction, furrowed brows and all. "That's _my_ thing. You guys can find something else."

"Fine then, Baekhyun, but if you're gay aren't you supposed to be friends with a lot of hot chicks? Where are the hot female friends, Baekhyun? Where are they?" Minseok asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Baekhyun says something about how he'd be a "good gay" and pull through with some hot girls. But sure enough, at seven fifteen, twenty minutes after Kris's parents were gone, a parade of hot girls enter the party, from a glasses-wearing senior named Siyoung to a freshman named Minji (Sehun was all over her the entire night) to a blonde girl named Luna with a Staten Island accent. 

Zitao did not expect upwards of 100 people to be inside his house at 8:00 PM on a Monday night. However, there he was, crammed between Yixing, who was tripping balls on acid, and a girl who was wearing a white shirt that revealed absolutely _everything_. Surprisingly enough he found himself staring at neither her breasts nor her face. He thought that it would be one of those fantastic high school moments he dreamed of, him and a hot girl on a couch, where they'd see each other and the chemistry would be evident, and they'd just be perfect. Instead he's vaguely disgusted by the smell of shitty weed on her breath and she looks more like a drunken mess than the gorgeous girls he's dreamt of meeting during his travels abroad. 

"Hey, Tao," Jongdae breathed, pulling Zitao up off of the couch. "Let's fucking get out of the living room before they start a truth or dare game. It's gonna get messy."

Sure enough, as soon as they slide open the glass door, they hear Sehun wail "Who wants to play truth or dare?" Those words were followed by the scampering of feet as people rusted towards Sehun. 

"Can you tell the future?" Zitao asks, staring at Jongdae with an open mouth. 

"No, he just does this every time he's had a little too much to drink. He's absolutely convinced he's going to be dared to kiss a girl at some point."

"Has that happened yet?" Zitao asked, raising an eyebrow in the direction of the rainbow-coifed teen. 

Jongdae chuckles, shaking his head. "Not once."

\----

Some time later and Zitao finds himself in the upstairs of his house, leaning against the side board of his bed. The window is open and the breeze flows throughout the room, ruffling hair and curtains. Chanyeol, Jongdae, Kris and Jongin all have formed this strange kind of oval-esque shape with him. Chanyeol is accompanied by a stuffed giraffe, which now leans over the arm of his flannel. The animal is so childish that Zitao almost wants to laugh, the giraffe that looked like a toy for a small child, it contrasted heavily against all of the insane shit going on downstairs, or all of the shit Chanyeol was known for pulling. 

"Jesus, Chanyeol, you weren't kidding when you said you kept your stuff in a giraffe." Jongin chuckles, staring at the giraffe far too eagerly. 

"It's been like this since middle school. I don't know how the giraffe hasn't been found out." Jongdae sighs, half laughing as he shakes his head in mock contempt. 

"Shut up, it works!" Chanyeol grumbles as he turns the giraffe upside down, pulling at a hidden zipper that completely opens the entire thing to reveal a small-ish bong. Only now did Zitao understand why Chanyeol had that giraffe with him far too often for any 17 year old. The giraffe had made guest appearances at parties, concerts and even occasionally turned up at school. 

"So Tao, have you ever used a bong?" Jongdae asks, smiling at the Chinese teen. 

Zitao can feel himself gulp. 

\----

Minsik doesn't remember how he found his way into a truth or dare game. He knows Sehun had set it up for sure (Sehun _always_ set them up), but he doesn't really remember having been asked to join or asking to join. But yet he still finds himself in the circle, sandwiched between a kid with dreds from Dallas and the Sehun himself, and he thinks that perhaps he sees Chulgoo across from him, but he's trying hard not to stare. 

"Nice sausage-fest you've got goin' on, Sehun." Kyung quips, exiting the kitchen with a beer. There's a girl he's got his arm around, and she's giggling at every single thing he says. 

Sehun sends Kyung a fiery glare. "Fuck off, faggot."

"Like you're one to talk." Someone in the circle says. Minsik thinks it's Chulgoo. 

Truth or dare is "lìt" ("the accent on the ì makes it more lit", Kyung had once explained) according to Sehun, though that might only because he's already had a few too many vodka shots this early into the party. Mostly everyone in the circle knows that there will probably be a better, drunker truth or dare game far later into the night, but yet no one decided to leave (Sehun would later attribute this to his "wicked sick hosting skills"), even when Yixing made out with Luhan (it was a traumatic experience) or when the kid with dreds drank an _entire half-pint of expired milk_. 

The game goes on for far too long, and eventually Minsik thinks that everyone in the circle has kissed everyone ("thanks to all of you guys I'm going to get herpes now!" Luhan yells at one point), not that he was going to complain about getting to know Chulgoo better. But the dares keep coming, and quickly he realizes that not a single person had picked truth the entire time. Eventually, he realizes as the dares keep ramping up, that this is going to culminate in some horrible, horrible dare. 

Things in the game got a lot more wild as the time got closer to nine pm, with someone, most likely Sehun, bringing up body shots. It turns out that if you suggest body shots to a pack of horny high schoolers in the midst of a truth or dare game, all hell will break loose. Body shots lead to other things, and eventually Luhan and Minsik are watching Yixing take an impressively large bong hit while atop some teenager who was completely knocked out on the floor. The next dare is for Minsik, and fear culminates in his stomach as he wonders what horrors may be bestowed upon him (not too far back Sehun had taken a shot of a mixture of soy sauce, chili paste and soju, and Minsik would prefer not to repeat the experience). Unfortunately luck isn't exactly on his side, and the teenager finds himself being forced to chug down a mix of potka (Kyungsoo's own special mix of weed and vodka) mixed with soju, red bull and redline extreme* ("the most powerful energy drink known to man," Luhan had said. "It straight up killed like three guys in Arizona," Yixing adds, unhelpfully), and the mixture is actually completely horrifying. He tries hard not to vomit, and while successful, he fears the uneasy feeling in his stomach will never leave. 

"Oh come on, stop acting like a pussy, it can't be that bad." Kyungsoo teases, looking at Minsik as the other teen is trying not to wretch on everyone and everything (the only pro to this was Chulgoo, genuinely worried, doting on him). 

"It's the worst thing I've ever done," Minsik pauses to nearly vomit over the sink. This drink was worse than whatever he was forced to consume in any game of ring of fire. "it tastes so bad, but it feels even worse."

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes in comic annoyance. "Is it because of the potka? Because, y'know, that's my own brew. Are you fucking insulting my culinary skills? Huh, Minsik? I put a lot of time into that." 

It takes all of Minsik's willpower not to vomit on Kyungsoo's shoes. "Then why don't you try some?"

There is a pause, and then Sehun, Yixing and Luhan are all screaming "CHUG. CHUG. CHUG." Kyungsoo, staring at the three, takes whatever is left of the mixture and drinks it in one go. For a few seconds he is fine, staring back at the mob of teenagers curiously looking at him, stony faced and unmoving. However, that expression quickly melts into one of pure disgust, and he nearly vomits all over Luhan.

"That," Kyungsoo pauses, glancing at everyone in the mob. "that was so fucked."

Regardless of how "fucked" it was, Kyungsoo finds himself DJing only a half hour later, playing for a hundred or so high schoolers as even more entered, many of which he didn't even know. He tries to turn his attention from the new kids to anywhere else, to the girls in the pool or to the top window of the house, where he can see Chanyeol and friends hotboxing Zitao's room. He knows all of them are going to be stoned as hell whenever they decide to leave. However, some of the new dumbfuck kids are trying hard to get his attention. 

One in particular stands out, an older looking kid awkwardly cock-blocking Minseok, who now looked like he wanted to fight the guy. By observation, Kyungsoo realized word must have gotten out about the whole thing, as never in his life would he have invited about a third of the new kids pouring in, especially this guy. If he wasn't crossfaded he probably would have left the DJing position to go remove the kid from Minseok and his new catch. Instead, he now finds himself staring at the lights strung up around the pool and house, and thinking about how lovely the whole set up looked. 

"Hey, you should play--" cockblocker kid (that is now what Kyungsoo has decided to call him) says, somehow appearing behind Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo nearly flinches. 

"I'm not taking requests, bitch." Kyungsoo says, narrowing his eyes. 

"Awwww, but you let that girl over there pick a song." Cockblocker kid points over to a girl who is currently trying to convince other girls to get a wet t-shirt contest going ("she's doing the lord's work" Chanyeol would say later, the rest of the group nodding and silently thanking her). 

"Yeah, well she offered to send me nudes, so I thought I oughta repay the favor." 

Cockblocker kid flutters his eyelashes "Well then, I'll do something for you sometime."

"Bro, I don't even know your name." Kyungsoo quips. 

"It's Joonmyeon. Now, tell me what you want, and then you'll play my song."

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow quizzically. "Who the fuck names their kid Joonmyeon? Are you in the witness protection program?"

Joonmyeon laughs dryly. "Funny. But seriously, what can I do?"

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes sinisterly. He has a few ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *do not drink this horrible, horrible mixture. It is the absolute worst thing that has ever had the disgrace of meeting my stomach. It's gross, it's not fun, and if you have a heart condition the mix of caffeine and alcohol is especially not good for you. Just don't. 
> 
> Also, the whole weed farm thing is a slight nod to Super Trash Bros


	4. Trashcon

Minseok is having the time of his life at this party. There are hot chicks left and right (Baekhyun pulled through for once, the marvelous man), some chick has offered to blow him (an offer he is not going to turn down) and there is an actual garbage bag of weed on the garden table, next to two bottles of Mescal. This was actual heaven. 

This chick, she was fucking gorgeous. _The type people write those songs about_ , Minseok thinks, _those ass songs._ Her name, well to be honest, Minseok didn't know her name (he would later find out that her name was Sulli), but he didn't really need to know her name. She was interested in him, and she was hot, so Minseok didn't really care if he didn't know who she was. 

"I really like your hair," she giggles, sliding a hand through it "it's unique. Stylish." _Damn straight it's stylish,_ Minseok thinks, _frosted tips are fucking in. Bitches love it._

"You look nice too." he mirrors her smile, sliding his hands down to her lower back. He was going to have some fun tonight. 

On his way to find the nearest empty room, girl in tow, he passed by another group of giggling high school girls surrounding Baekhyun and Yixing. Yixing was attempting to impress the girls with vape tricks, completely unsuccessfully, while Baekhyun snapped photos of the failure on his phone. After taking one particularly good video of Yixing coughing in a cloud of vape, making a disgusted face, his phone rang. 

From: Minsik  
Oh god Chulgoo is here and he's getting me some soju

Baekhyun smiled, texting back near immediately. He loved homosexual melodrama, it was no coincidence that it was still his nickname, with origins dating back to middle school. 

To: Minsik  
Go for it bro. He probably likes you

From: Minsik  
im tempted just to go for it like I'm that desperate. Fuck, imma do it, man

Baekhyun grinned, completely ignoring the girls and Yixing, who was still drowning in clouds of vape. He was gonna play clueless on this one. 

To: Minsik  
You're gonna do what? What do you mean?

From: Minsik  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes trashcon is an actual thing (somehow some of my friends in high school decided it would be a great party to throw) and yes, it will appear more in this story as time goes on. I know this chapter is shorter, but hey a lot happened and that's what matters (I guess). Your comments/feedback are greatly wanted. Thanks.


	5. aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING A WEEK LATE BUT I DIDNT HAVE WIFI FOR AN ACTUAL WEEK.

Kris wakes up on the floor of the bathroom, with a pounding headache and a bad case of cotton mouth. He remembers smoking with Chanyeol, Tao, Jongin and Minseok right at the start of the party, and then drinking a shit ton of jungle juice. After that he "reconnected" (and by reconnection he means fucking in the kitchen pantry) with a girl from elementary school who had gotten a lot hotter since he'd last seen her (unsurprisingly so, as he was crossfaded and she was wearing a croptop that barely qualified as a shirt).

He vaguely remembers when Yixing and Luhan brought the jungle juice, specially made with some Chinese tropical fruit drink and everclear, carried in in an actual fucking trash can (earning a low whistle and a "that's so fucked" from Chanyeol and Jongdae upon sight of its majesty). He also vaguely remembers downing an entire mason jar of it (it would explain his currently brain splitting headache) and then eating an edible (that plus the weed earlier would explain why his mouth was drier than the actual Sahara desert). 

Either way he wakes up to his ringtone blaring "BITCH IM SIPPING TEA IN YOUR HOOD WHAT THE FUCK IS UP!" (Xxxtentacion was always a favorite of Chanyeol's), signaling that Chanyeol was trying to call him. This was a rare occurrence as one, Chanyeol was a man of few words, two, Chanyeol generally despised technology and three, Chanyeol still had a flip phone from the fucking nineties. 

"WHAT?" He bellows over the phone, still a little drunk had very much out of it.

"Kris we have a bit of an emergency over here." Chanyeol drawls as he does most of the time, far too calm as for whatever horrible thing is most likely currently occurring. 

"What kind?" Kris groaned, sitting up. The floormat was so comfortable, but he had more important things than to appreciate a bathroom floormat at four AM. 

Chanyeol pauses, and Kris thinks he can hear the teen shuffle and poke something. "Eh... some kid is lying face down over here. Think he might be dead or something." Chanyeol manages to say all of this nonchalantly. Kris is frankly impressed. 

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK CHANYEOL? WHY DID YOU CALL ME?" Kris hollers, far more awake and sober now. 

"Cos you said that you could handle anything?" Chanyeol is audibly wincing. 

"NOT DEATH. WHY DIDNT YOU CALL 911 FIRST?" Kris yells, still on the phone as he bursts out of the bathroom. He runs down the hallway, finally coming into the mainroom where there is a semi-circle of kids all around a body, lying face down on the carpet. He can spot some recognizable faces; a few girls he's had class with, Chanyeol, Kim Hanbin from his art II class and Woosung, Hanbin's boyfriend and hype man. 

Chanyeol hangs up his phone and gulps nervously. Woosung looks at him, but Chanyeol is clammed up even more than usual, and Woosung decides he'll do the speaking "He just called 911. They're coming."

"Maybe he's asleep?" Chanyeol says hopefully, poking the body lightly with the tip of his combat boot and grimaces deeply. This is not the case. 

"Somehow I really doubt that." Kris says, looking down at the kid who was most likely dead. 

An ambulance and two cops (unfortunately not the fun nice ones that sold illicit substances, these were stern, worried cops who asked far too many questions) arrive near instantaneously. After a long, angry talk with the people still left at the house, and Chanyeol saying that he didn't know the kid, or that there were illegal substances there (Chanyeol was surprisingly sober), the cops leave, but not after saying that the party goers would be interviewed at a later date. 

"Oh man, this is so fucked, we're so fucked." Chanyeol groans, walking down the street with Kris. Chanyeol had near instantly rolled up a cigarette after the cops left, claiming to need "stress relief". 

"You think this'll get on our records? I'm eighteen, and fuck, this could be bad." Kris asks, though he knows that Chanyeol doesn't have the answers. They continue their way from Kris's house, not wanting to be there any longer. 

Chanyeol pauses to take a drag of his cigarette and turn a corner. They had long since left Kris's nice part of town and were headed further east, more into the shady side where Chanyeol's family resided. "Fuck man, I don't know. Was the party even worth it? My girlfriend didn't even show." 

Kris sighed. "Well at least you have someone. I'm fuckin' single. Can't even keep a girl through one party."

"Oh man, I could set you up with my stepsister. She's nineteen, Latino, and has a neck tattoo of a snake with the head of Jesus." Chanyeol grins, bumping Kris's arm. "Isn't that your type?"

"I thought your little stepbrother was the one with the neck tattoo." Kris says, looking at Chanyeol bemusedly. 

"Oh, Dante? The 13 year old one?" Chanyeol asks, but the question is purely rhetorical. "Yeah, he's the one with the neck tatt that says "TRU NIGGA", right next to an AK." 

Kris sucks in a deep breath in horror, but unfortunately his last memory of going over to Chanyeol's was falsely positive. No matter the hour of the day, whether it be 4 AM or PM, at least two of Chanyeol's siblings were fighting. All of the information on Chanyeol's family Kris had was shoddy, pried from the younger teen at random intervals and all so abnormal that he couldn't be sure if the tall kid was lying. As far as he knew, Chanyeol's mother had died when he was seven, leaving behind Chanyeol, his older sister, and his little brother. Chanyeol's father remarried two years later to an excitable Colombian woman, with two children, and together they had two more. However, neither parent was either competent or present enough to guide all seven children, leading to a home situation that closely resembled lord of the flies. 

So as Kris walked in, he was a little less than surprised upon being accosted with the sight of thirteen year old Dante putting a fifteen year old Eunhyuk in a choke hold as the elder boy frantically kicked him in the thigh. It was a more uncommon sight for there to be peace in the park household than for someone to be taking a beating. 

"Boys, calm down and go to bed." Chanyeol said, making vaguely threatening motions at the two. "Kris, d'ya want coffee? It's gonna be a long night."

\----

Everyone at the table in the all too familiar Home Depot shed is particularly groggier than usual, with Kris and Sehun being the frontrunners of it all. Sehun was also particularly hung over, having vomited in Jongin's car a record five times on the way there. Minseok looked surprisingly well rested, yet late to their six thirty AM meeting as he had to "drop a bitch back off at her place, gotta be a good one night stand 'nam sayin'?"

"Can I say we're officially fucked now?" Baekhyun whines, reclining in his seat. 

"Donbesuchajupeasimist." Yixing mumbles. He is half asleep and still a little drunk (and unfortunately, still smells like a vape shop). 

"What did he just say?" Jongdae asks groggily, still leaning vaguely on Tao, who appears to be actually, physically asleep. 

"A jupessamist." Sehun yawns. 

"That's not a word." Kyungsoo is indigent and enraged by everything. Not only is he far too hungover for this, but he did not get to hook up with a single girl at the party. 

"What he's trying to say is, you guys are being pessimists and you need to stop." Luhan says, taking his usual role as translator for Yixing, sipping his coffee. He is by far the most alert and together person at the table, which is surprising when not even twelve hours ago he was hopped up on jungle juice screaming "imma ready to straight fight a boy". 

"How can we not be when someone died, the cops are on our tail, and there was someone who was almost definitely a snitch at the party?" Chanyeol says, uncharacteristically. 

"A snitch?" Kris and Tao ask simultaneously, Zitao confused and Kris in horror. 

"Joonmyeon! That bitch was up to no good!" Minseok roars, indignant and clearly rageful. 

"JOONMONEY!" Sehun wails. "I know him! He gave me a watch for my birthday!"

"But does he have any connections with the cops?" Kyungsoo asks, leaning closer to Sehun. The smell of Kyungsoo's cologne and old spice mixed together and Sehun, already nauseous, turns as green as the stripe in his hair. 

"Yeah, his dad wor--" Sehun sprints out of the room as fast as humanly possible, slamming the door open and blasting along the pavement. The sound of him vomiting onto the still cool morning tarmac is loud and abrasive, and rings in everyone's ears for far too long. A few wince, others look disgusted, and Jongin wonders what possibly could be left in his stomach after puking so many times in the car already. 

Joonmyeon, meanwhile was at home, with an ice pack on his face, talking to his dad. Even though he knows the cold on his face won't do much more than it already has for the bruise on his cheekbone and his black eye, he thinks it'll keep his dad feeling bad for him, which is always a hilarious thing. Joonmyeon's father, a devout Christian, tried to keep "emotionally neutral", which is a strange way to say that he was uncomfortable with anything besides anger and happiness. 

"Joonmyeon, you need to give me names, names, Joonmyeon. Give me the names of these kids, and we can have the biggest high school drug ring bust since '76!" Joonmyeon's dad says, surprisingly cheerful. Joonmyeon knows this will not last for long. It never lasts. 

Joonmyeon squints his undamaged eye in thought. He's never had a particularly sharp memory, and the lack of sleep, slight amount of alcohol (Joonmyeon was a world class lightweight at drinking) and punch to the face made everything muddled in his head. "Uh, Xiumin? Luhan? Chanyeol? Some guy named... uh... Kevin? A few others... JONGDAE!"

Sehun's father, Siwon, narrows his eyes in anger. "I need last names! Joonmyeon, there are at least twenty Jongdaes in the state!" Joonmyeon wants to say that he doesn't think that that name is that popular, but to say that would certainly earn him a slap, something he desperately doesn't want right now. 

So instead, Joonmyeon looks up at his surprisingly frustrated father with a face designed to conjure the most pity from the stern man possible. "I don't know! I really don't!" Siwon is still not pleased. Siwon is rarely ever pleased. Joonmyeon is completely and absolutely prepared for annihilation. 

Right before Joonmyeon's father is about to emit the loudest, most angry tirade a thirty something year old man can release, the soft slipping sound of his mother's house shoes enters the room. She is standing there, constantly cool, calm and collected expression blatant on her face. "Sweetheart, if he goes to your school, couldn't you look him up in the directory?"

However, this will not calm the rage deep in the heart of Joonmyeon's father. His eyes narrow to slits had his voice is cold and calculating. "There haven't been any directories since sixth grade, _sweetheart_."

Joonmyeon shifts around in the couch, wondering if now is the time where he should escape. Judging by the expression on his father's face, it is not at all that time. He needs a plan. Suddenly, an idea comes to him. "Uh, well dad, I could go to the next party, and get photos and names. Would that be good?"

This quickly dissipates his anger. Joonmyeon finds himself once again free, with his mother ignoring them again and his father no longer about to have an anger induced aneurism. 

\----

Woosung, Hanbin and Chulgoo all find themselves in the back of the video store (with nothing to do their breaks have gone on for far too long) chatting about what had happened last night (for some, like Hanbin, the night was relatively tragic). It is also tragic that their group of there's designated meet up spot was where they already worked, the local shady film store, but when you live in a somewhat sleepy mid sized town, there's not much else. 

"That party was fucking lit." Woosung says, wedged in between Hanbin and Chulgoo on a table crammed in the back of the already overly crowded film store. 

"Woosung, I swear to fucking god if you say lit one more time, I will break up with you." Hanbin scowls. Hanbin's usual facial expression is a scowl. He is by default not a happy man. 

Meanwhile, Chulgoo remains silent, tapping on his phone. It isn't that he felt like a third wheel, or that he was angry at Hanbin or Woosung, it was that there were better things to do at the moment, like flirt with Minsik over text. Hanbin and Woosung are content to chat amongst themselves for a while, but Woosung, between both of them, is a nosy bastard. 

He leans over Chulgoo's phone, head with ever present hat obstructing the screen, even though Chulgoo highly doubts that Woosung can read any of it upside down and this close. _Probably a good thing that he can't,_ Chulgoo thinks, wincing at the thought of Woosung reading through his texts, and quickly turns his phone off. 

"It's that guy from the party."

Hanbin smiles brightly. "Oh, Minsik? He's in my physics class." 

Woosung raises an eyebrow sky high at Chulgoo. "Minsik?"

Chulgoo nods, unsure of why Woosung has that tone of voice. He's known the other boy since fifth grade, and this was worrying. "Yeah, Minsik."

"Minsik like Minseok the senior, Minsik with glasses and and the bowl cut, or the Minsik on the thicker side?" Woosung asks. 

"Minsik that plays the bass." Hanbin and Chulgoo answer in unison. 

"So thicc Minsik." Woosung says and both Hanbin and Chulgoo wince at the same time. Woosung has always been overly harsh on other people's appearances, even when he, in Hanbin's words, looked like a pigeon. 

"Y'know, Woosung, he's not that overwei-" Hanbin is cut off by the ringtone of his phone. 

From: humpbaek whale  
Please come to the police station ASAP. Bring Woosung

\----

"Alright look, I don't know the kid. I don't know where he got cocaine from. I didn't know there was going to be drugs or alcohol, okay? I just came to DJ, not ruin someone's life." Kyungsoo says, putting on his best face of mock worry and horror. His voice sounds sappy and sad and if he wasn't in front of a police officer right now he would have been actually, physically disgusted with himself. 

The officer sighs and nods. The next kid in line goes up, being Chanyeol. The officer watches the tall teen walk towards him to sit down in a seat. Officer Siwon does not have a pleased look on his face upon seeing the lanky teenager. He had seen Chanyeol and all of his siblings extensively throughout his career, and figured that none of them were ever up to any good. 

"I'm guessing that you know why you're here?" Siwon asks. He has never had a good feeling about the Parks. 

"Because I attended a party where someone died?" Chanyeol asks, not even timidly. 

"Err, well yes. Woo Jiho died with identifiable amounts of alcohol, THC and MDMA in his bloodstream. Did you know about any of the alcohol or drug use at the party?"

Chanyeol whistles low, coming off as surprised. "Wow that's pretty hardcore. I mean yeah, someone probably brought a few beers, but nothing else. I stay away from that stuff, I really wouldn't know."

Siwon raises an eyebrow. "Really? With your family's reputation..."

Chanyeol raises his arms defensively. "Hey! I really don't! Just because my family has gone and done that doesn't mean I have. I saw how it fucked with my parents, I'm not gonna go do that to myself."

Siwon sighed, Chanyeol's story slightly tugging at his heart strings. "Fine. Bring in Zitao."

Zitao enters the room slowly, trying to make himself seem as diminutive as possible. He had a plan, and that was to be the most innocent, sheltered exchange student in the world. He tried hard to make himself stutter and thicken his accent. "H-hello, officer." 

"Huang Zitao. It says here that you were present at the party." Siwon says. He is determined to wrangle information from someone here, completely convinced that somewhere there was the evidence to pull a huge drug bust. 

"I-I guess you could say that. I was jjust up in my room the whole time. Parties aren't really my thing." Zitao just hopes the stammer and and exaggerated Chinese accent make him seem a portrait of innocence. 

"But did you see anything go on? Drinking, drug use, anything?" Siwon asks, praying that something, someone would give and tell him about what was going on. He could not go off of Joonmyeon's evidence alone.

"No drugs s-sir. I just saw some people drinking s-soda and playing a few board games. It was a-actually pretty lame." Zitao says, looking down at his feet. He was trying his damned hardest not to smile or laugh, and can't help but think _my theater teacher would be proud_. 

Siwon sighs and cycles through more of the party goers, but not a single person says anything anywhere near incriminating. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, realizing that this case was going nowhere, and unfortunately for him, would be shut in a few days, without a giant drug bust. 

The uniformness in their answers is cheeringly celebrated by Zitao's new friend group that night, hidden away up on the top deck of Kyungsoo's house. The short boy's parents were away, and he celebrated their success in evading Siwon's questions with a "classy" dinner consisting of wine pilfered from his parents and a small array of dishes somehow whipped together. It is the most relaxed Zitao has felt in months, sitting next to Jongdae, the shorter teenager laying an arm across his shoulder. 

Meanwhile, the dinner is anything but peaceful for Jongin. Having been reassured by Sehun about how the elder boy could still have feelings for him, he desperately spent the night trying to see if Kyungsoo really did care. Jongin had lost count of how many times he sighed internally when the shorter teen did not return his glances or react to his questions. It wasn't that he minded having a crush, but it being unreturned, him not being in control of the scenario, not being the confident one that angered him. He found himself not paying much attention to the conversation, even when Sehun brought up more ideas for trashcon. 

"Huh, trashcon, that's a good chance to hook up with Kyungsoo," Jongin thinks to himself.


	6. i've got 99 problems, and a ditch is one

Jongdae wakes up in a slightly muddy ditch, earth in his hair, on his clothes and plastered to his arms, deeply in his skin. There is a pounding in his head, possibly the worst headache he's had in his life, certainly the worst hangover he's ever had. His mouth is as dry as the Sahara desert, and he hadn't a clue on where he was. 

Skull pulsating, he slowly dragged himself up one side of the ditch, grass sticking itself to his muddy, soaked through jean jacket. Come to think of it, he doesn't remember wearing that jean jacket to the start of the party, but he can't remember much in general, so he pushes the thought aside. He tries to rear back onto his knees to get a better view of what is going on outside of the ditch, but not to much luck, as moving in general sent waves of pain to his head. Crawling up it in the dark was tiring, especially when he was already exhausted, feeling like a ton of bricks had been dropped on his back and legs. He moved slowly, like wading through molasses, but progress was made. 

Eventually he manages to drag himself up and out of the ditch, grass scraping off minimal amounts of mud from his body. It appears that it is still completely dark outside, a murky pitch black that envelops most everything around him. The moon didn't provide much light, the sky being an overcast indigo, with rippling clouds and a strong breeze that cut through the hot humid air. Most everything is covered in a layer of water and muck, and the same filth covers him. Finally free of the ditch, Jongdae checks his surroundings. The ditch is at the end of a field, a clearing in the forest that he recognizes borders the edge of his town. It's impossibly dense and dark, and there's no way for him to get out in this weather, without his phone or flashlight. 

He sits down in the clearing, hoping that after a short rest he'd feel better, but by having stopped moving he is immediately hit with a heavy wave of drowsiness. Jongdae finds himself lying down in a mixture of leaves and grass, and sleep overtakes him too quickly for him to realize what was going on. However, he doesn't sleep for long, being awoken by shaking.

Jongdae jolts up, instantly regretting it as it only makes his head, and everything else, hurt more. He peers up to see someone vaguely familiar, though at the time and in his state he couldn't tell who, and the person extends a hand towards him, helping him up. 

"Hey, bro, oh my god, are you alright?" The voice says, and it's familiar, not familiar enough to be Chanyeol or Zitao or Kyungsoo, but he has certainly heard it before, somewhere. Either way, the voice was slightly worried, but kind.

"What's going on?" He croaks, cringing at the roughness in his voice. His voice sounded completely shot, and trying to conjure up a reason why leaves him blank. 

"A lot of shit happened, man. I guess I should explain, but I think it'd be better for you to be sitting down to take it all in." The owner of the voice says, and while Jongdae has not gotten a single good look at him in the dark blue light, he knows he's taller than him, but built like a stick. 

"Where are we going?" Jongdae asks, and then winces. His voice sounds excruciatingly bad, and everything hurts, but he cannot piece together a single thing about that night. 

"House. It's close, just a little longer." The voice says, and sure enough, Jongdae spots a glowing warm yellow light in the distance. He wants to breath a sigh of relief, but there is a ways to go and he realizes he needs to focus more energy into trudging forward and less into wild speculation. 

In what seems like ages, they make it to the house, and in the light Jongdae could see so much more. Unfortunately, he rather wished that he couldn't see, as he looked quite the wreck. There was mud all over him, in his hair, in his clothes, on his skin, and what wasn't muddied was soaked through with what was (hopefully) rain water. In addition to this, there were bruises and scrapes littered all over his body, from his legs and torso all the way up to his face. This contrasted quite a bit with the person who had lead him into the house, who now upon getting a good look at, Jongdae realized was Chulgoo. 

"You can shower off inside if you'd like." Chulgoo says, smiling warmly. Jongdae wants to hug the other teenager for this unexpected show of hospitality, but he figures this isn't a good idea as he is bloodied and covered in mud. 

After a hot, long shower, Jongdae returns to the kitchen of the house, dressed in a pair of clothes that he isn't sure of origin, as they clearly aren't Chulgoo's (Chulgoo was a good three or so inches above Jongdae). In the kitchen there were four other people sitting at a round wooden table, two of which still looking quite ruffled. Chulgoo and Minsik both looked slightly more put together, although very tired and vaguely stressed out. Kyungsoo looked rather like a mad scientist, with wide, tired eyes and his hair (that usually was neat and near perfect) seemed to have gone through a hurricane. He had a thousand yard stare, and seemed to not be paying attention to anything that was going on. Zitao looked even more disheveled, hair still sopping wet, mud on parts of his glasses, and grass stains on his forearms. He was dressed in Chulgoo's clothes, which hung off of him limply, but he seemed chipper and cheerful to be in the house, happily sipping away at a steaming hot mug of tea. 

"Well I'm glad you made it back in one piece." Minsik remarks, smiling at Jongdae, though the teenager has a feeling it's more about the fact that Chulgoo was incessantly smiling at him and less about Jongdae having not died. 

"He's barely in one piece though." Zitao chuckles, beckoning Jongdae to sit down next to him at the table. When he does, the Chinese boy beams at him, a perfect picture of happiness. 

"What happened?" Jongdae asks, still wincing at the sound of his voice. It's rough and scratchy, like sandpaper, and now it even hurts to speak. His head is still throbbing, and there is a certain ache in his hands and arms that has settled deep into his muscles. 

Chulgoo's eyebrows go sky high, as if ready to blast out of the atmosphere, though obscured by his bangs. "You don't remember anything? Anything at all? Are you sure?"

Jongdae furrows his brow deep in thought. He tries his hardest to dig back, peel away memories, to remember what had happened, but he can only draw blanks. "No, I'm pretty sure I was blackout drunk and then I collapsed in a ditch, with this jacket on. What happened?"

Zitao whistles long and low, shaking his head, while Minsik gives him a pitiful expression and breaths out heavily. "A whole lot happened." Zitao finally says. 

\----

Jongdae runs a hand through his hair as he began the trek from his house to where the party for the second day of trashcon was being held. For some reason, he and his mates had agreed that trashcon would always take place in parks (the national park close to Jongdae's house being a favorite), though no one could actually remember why (most likely because they were drunk off of their asses when they schemed it all up). But if anything, Jongdae's ragtag group of friends enjoyed sticking to their own invented tradition (these seemed to be the only rules and social code they had any hope of following), and Jongdae was no different from them. He glanced up quickly at the sky, darkening, but not quite yet overcast, and prayed that it would not rain. No one liked a soggy trashcon.

He is greeted quite warmly by Minseok, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, who were currently setting things up in the woods. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were setting up tables, while Minseok brought out a handful of coolers. Trashcon was strictly a BYOB (or BYOW, bring your own weed) party, but Minseok was always gracious and kind enough to bring a cooler or two. How he got them back home when the police inevitably came (they always came, every single time, and at this point the police were as much a part of trashcon as the partiers) was a mystery to everyone, but he had been doing it for quite a few years now. 

"Do you know who are the new people that are going this year?" Chanyeol asks Jongdae, who shakes his head. "Tradition" at trashcon held that all new people had to fist fight, but the teens there seemed to enjoy their own "boxing tournament" complete with the winner getting a jacket. 

Small talk continues and Jongdae is happy to converse with his friends, but he finds that is mind is relatively empty. It's not that he considers himself a big thinker exactly-- but idle chitchat only seems to bore him tonight. He wanted action, or adventure, or alcohol (and whatever else he could get his hands on), but tonight, particularly action. 

Those thoughts get put on the back burner though, because Zitao has arrived and as far as Jongdae is concerned, Zitao, possibly the antithesis of his friend group, is (nearly) as interesting as getting to fight someone. Near instantly he is next to the Chinese teenager, who happily hugs him and asks him how he's been, even though he had seen Jongdae less than twenty four hours ago. They spend the next hour waiting for people to show up and sharing beers (Zitao grimaces slightly at the taste at first, but doesn't say anything, so neither does Jongdae) and chatting about what comes to mind (Jongdae, simple as he might come off, enjoys talking politics. Zitao, not so much). 

By the time that a sizable number of people are in the park, bringing along bottles and thermoses and boxed wine (and in Woosung's case, a two gallon ziplock bag of whiskey (Hanbin apologizes profusely)), Jongdae and Zitao are thoroughly buzzed. Zitao is reading shitty John Green quotes off of his phone, and as much as Jongdae loves Zitao, he doesn't love hearing about how teenagers are indestructible and adults are jaded when all he wants to do is get fucked up. 

And fucked up he gets, managing to down an impressive amount of everclear (Chanyeol calls him a "straight savage", Hanbin gives him the phone number to their local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous) and gets his hands on a few pot brownies. Trashcon has always been about pure debauchery, and nothing more proves that than a large gang of hedonistic teenagers in a park getting wasted? And to Jongdae's group of friends, the best way to get "absolutely smashed" is to drink as much as physically possible in a park with fist fights and hot girls and your friends. 

Zitao is near instantly right back at his side when the first fight happens. It's two freshman, one Jongdae knows from soccer (Gunhee, he remembers later) and the other is some far flung cousin of someone's. Both are shitty at it, anyone could tell they had never fought, and probably wouldn't ever again (so many freshman are pussies, it's a shame, Chanyeol remarks). But if the newcomers, people who somehow heard or were invited, were invited (a new generation, Minseok warbles, pretending to wipe a tear away), that meant the better fights were coming. 

And the fights go on and on, some taking ages and others ending in mere seconds. Luhan (they had completely forgotten the exchange students were new until about two days before that night) versus Yixing versus Zitao is the last before people who had done this before take over, and Jongdae can feel worry begin to ball up in the pit of his stomach, because he cared a little more about Zitao than he'd like to let on, and Zitao was about to fight two people. 

It turns out rather quickly that Jongdae's fears are fantastically unfounded. Yixing (the boy never really posed a threat) was a little too much of a pacifist to really punch all that hard, Luhan was drunk out of his mind, and couldn't land a single blow, and Zitao, it turned out that he could knock out a Chinese twink in about two seconds flat. Between whooping and hollering, Jongdae looks at Zitao, who has a slight sheen to his skin, and smiles as widely as possible. 

\----

Jongdae isn't smiling an hour from then. Instead his jaw is clenched as tightly as he can and his brows are furrowed. The tallest tree in the entire park looms to his left, and obscures much of the moonlight that now pours over them, dappled and with s blueish hue. Jongdae is far too invested in winning the fight to pay good attention to the crowd around them, pushing in, or the gorgeous scenery past that. Instead, he focuses on landing a blow or two more on the guy in front of him and that Sehun has screamed "world star!" at least twice. 

Jongdae finishes the fight with a blank mind, ruddy fists and a scrape somewhere above his eyebrow. If he were paying better attention, he would have seen his name be etched quickly into a frisbee with a hot knife and tied to one of the taller branches of the enormous tree. Instead he focuses his attention on his bandmates, Hanbin and Zitao, who are all grinning and congratulating him, whooping and hollering a little louder than anyone else there.

Hanbin takes a photo of Jongdae and Zitao with his Polaroid camera after the fight, both rather sweaty, the sky having gone dark a while ago, Jongdae in the denim jacket and pin and Zitao with his thick glasses and flannel, both holding four locos. Zitao regrets drinking a four loco near instantaneously (however, this is the appropriate reaction to drinking a four loco (Chanyeol managed to get his hands on the original, "more dangerous" ones that taste exactly like 2005)), as he manages to almost retch on not only Jongdae, but Woosung and Hanbin as well (the two take this as a cue to go to some other part of the party, most likely to go make out somewhere). 

Meanwhile, Jongin has taken an astounding number of shots (he's lost count after eleven, and he's not sure if he is going to have alcohol poisoning or not at this point). Every time he nears Kyungsoo, he ends up taking another shot (this is only exasperated by the fact that he has been near Kyungsoo for a solid hour now), and after the first seven, he thinks it's a good idea to keep going. 

After shot number ten (or so, everything is a blur now and numbers are no longer a legitimate concept), Jongin realizes that not only is he a handful of seconds from being black out drunk, but that this would be the perfect time to make his move. He saunters the five yards over to Kyungsoo (in reality he is drunkenly stumbling at a questionable pace), and slips an arm over the shorter man's shoulder. Instantly his heartbeat quickens and his head clouds and Jongin thinks that tonight, he would finally go and pursue the boy he had been crushing on for more than a few years now. Kyungsoo looks up at him with a look, that if he wasn't drunk, would be interpreted as a mix of horrified and confused. Jongin, however, is fantastically drunk, so he chooses to see this facial expression as one of wanting, pining for something that had been building up for years. 

"What the fuck is going on?" Kyungsoo asks, his face contorting slightly in question. He has not bothered to turn his entire body away from his game of flip cup, instead just twisting his neck. 

"I'm gay." Jongin blurts out. He did not mean to say this. He did not want to say this. Jongin didn't even believe that he was 100% gay. This was a mistake. 

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. Jongin sincerely hopes he couldn't hear him over the sounds of a girl screaming. "You're what?"

The gears in Jongin's skull are turning as fast as possible. He is scared that they are audible to the outside world. "I'm game for some flip cup!"

Kyungsoo nods and smiles and Jongin is pretty damn sure that he just suffered from a minor heart palpitation. "Sweet. Join my team. We're team Park Chanyeol."

Chanyeol, who is not at all on Kyungsoo's team, sends them a solid glare. Jongin wants to retort to this to protect his precious owl man, but he realizes not only that he doesn't have a single come back, but that he is so hammered already that he cannot even play flip cup. 

This puts a damper on everything for Jongin for a short while, but flip cup doesn't last long when you're in a park surrounded by miscreants and hooligans smashed on a cornucopia of illicit substances. Instead, there are fireworks and fire (Chanyeol has managed to get a full bush of some plant in flames, and Kyungsoo is near certain that that is all different kinds of illegal) and destruction of all kinds (Sehun has broken open a wasp's nest and has been chased by a pack of the fuckers for at least fifteen minutes now). When one particularly big and bright firework launches skywards, Jongin slips his hand over Kyungsoo's (he gets the idea from Jongdae, who seems to be doing the same to Zitao). He glances hopefully over to Kyungsoo, who has no reaction at all to this. 

Jongin then decides (drunkenly) that that doesn't mean that Kyungsoo is against all of this and thinks that perhaps he should move things further. He slowly, slowly inches his head over towards Kyungsoo's shoulder, going at the pace of a tortoise only because he is certain that he'd faceplant if he went normal speed. Once he makes contact with the aforementioned shoulder, he cannot help but smile, looking up at the fireworks (Minseok and Chanyeol seem to be doing a good job with them, as no one has been hit by one yet) and thinks, _Wow Jongin, good job, this is super romantic and actually successful_. 

Jongin feels the shoulder shift and looks up a bit. "What the hell are you doing?" Kyungsoo asks, eyebrows narrowing with something that is more aggressive than concern. 

Jongin pulls his head slightly off of Kyungsoo's chest, partially because this brings his face far closer to Kyungsoo's but also because he was worried that if he kept his head on the shorter man's shoulder he would be pummeled to the ground and through the earth's crust. He says something, and he's near sure that it is completely unintelligible as he is too drunk and too nervous to make any sense. He just hopes Kyungsoo can't feel his heartbeat. 

And because Jongin is the sappiest fuck in the entire universe, he chooses that moment to bring his mouth to Kyungsoo's. He's sure that if he wasn't piss drunk and in the middle of a festival celebrating underaged hedonism with two teenagers burning things a few yards away from them that this would be sweet and romantic. Instead, Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose (Jongin hopes that this is because of the acrid scent of whatever the fuck Chanyeol, Sehun and Minseok have set ablaze now) ((It's not)) and then pushes away. Jongin really wanted this to be nice, but it's hard for things to work out when someone has carved "420 BLAZE IT FAGGOT" on the tree they are leaning against. Kyungsoo has this distressed look on his face and Jongin gets up, scrambling frantically in the grass because his limbs are traitors and he is too hammered for all of this, and decides he must leave. He stumbles his way as quickly as possible out of the park, but the forest is dark and he's not exactly in the best condition to find his way out. People try to ask him something (all of his attention is funneled into finding a way to get out, so he hasn't a clue on what they've said), but he shrugs them away, and continues his way back home. 

Dear lord this was such a failure, he thinks to himself, the last few minutes continuously looping through his head. He knows this won't go down well. Kyungsoo will be weirded out, then he'll tell the others, and the others won't talk to him, not even Sehun or Yixing. If all else fails, I can change my name to Kai and move to Mexico to start my own coconut exporting business, he thinks to himself, because planning the future seems to ease his worries for the present.

Jongdae watches the entire thing from where he stands, arm draped artfully over Zitao, beer in his other hand. Yixing is trying to do a keg stand to the left of him, and Jongdae has almost been kicked in the neck twice (Luhan apologizes for his drunker friend, and Jongdae truly feels sorry for the Chinese, as Yixing seems to be his partner in crime at all times). "That's so fucking gay." 

Zitao looks at him with a look of vague concern (Kyung and Kris also give him this look, but he ignores them). "That was the saddest, most teenage angst ridden thing that has happened the entire year, and that's your reaction?"

Jongdae would give a slow nod, but Yixing almost thwaps him in the head again, so he settles for a swift duck. "Still, very homo."

Zitao was going to respond, but is interrupted by the faint sound of sirens. "Are there cops coming?"

Even though he spoke quietly, near instantly everyone in the park froze after the words were uttered. The air was still and thick and the collective fear of a large mass of teenagers was palpable. As the sirens blare again, louder this time, everyone scrambles. Any alcohol left is quickly downed, substances either burned, used or hidden, and high schoolers begin to run off before the cops could arrive. 

Joonmyeon felt bad, he really did, for all of this. But breaking up a high school party draped in a disguise was better than facing the wrath of his father. As all of the teenagers ran off, either trying to leave the woods or go deeper into them, he removed his cap and scrubbed off the makeup. Somehow, everyone had bought his disguise, even though Suho didn't seem to be that believable of a name. 

"Son, where are the teenagers?" Siwon asks, placing a hand firmly on Joonmyeon's shoulder. Joonmyeon gulped and hoped that this would be enough. 

"They all scattered. Plenty are in the woods." Joonmyeon croaks. His heartbeat is fast and arrhythmic and this only reminds him that he will never want to be a police officer. 

Siwon grumbles something and leaves, and Joonmyeon decides it's time to go home. As the sky begins to let loose a torrent of rain, he just hopes that everyone at the party ends up alright. 

\---- 

Zitao has never considered himself athletic, but tonight he is sprinting faster and longer than he'd ever imagined he could. Jongdae and Zitao dash through the forest and find themselves near a ditch. As the footsteps of a police officer begin to crunch nearer to them (the beam of their state supplied flashlight is still evident even through the rain that has now started to soak everything) Jongdae panickedly looked towards Zitao for an idea, and the Chinese teenager is certain that he'd never seen that facial expression from the other in his life. Before he could suggest anything, Jongdae grabs his wrist and slides down the side of the ditch. 

They are covered in grass stains and now soaked through to the bone in rainwater, and while Zitao is sure that both of them are now bruised and scraped, they are safer. They lie on hard soil and grass, pressing themselves as close to the hill they just fell down, close enough to nearly become on with the earth, and neither of them are sure that they aren't doing just that, as mud joins the mix of plant life and water on their very beings. 

Jongdae peers up just enough to see a beam of a flashlight pass over a cloudy lilac sky, and his heart races faster. He prays to every pantheon of gods ever believed in and sincerity hopes that the beam of light will not go over him or Zitao and as if the spirits and deities are truly listening, the light never touches them. 

The rain only pounds down harder, and Jongdae can barely hear the sound of footsteps of the police leaving through the onslaught of rain. But as he lies in the muck and grass, a wave of tiredness washes over him. He's already soaked to the bone, and with a lack of movement, all of the alcohol he has consumed that night hits him like a ton of bricks. He forgets completely that Zitao was with him in the ditch, and sinks a little further into the soft earth, more comfortable now. Zitao scrambling up and out of the ditch does not register for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that my update schedule is out of whack, I'm trying v hard to get back on track. This chapter is all based off of me and my friends' experiences at our Trashcon. Ngl I really like writing the shitty one sided Kaisoo.


	7. she comes in bells

When Sehun wakes up on the floor of a gas station restroom at 5:30 AM with two chicks who were both at least a 6/10, he knows he had a successful night. Yes, people may have called him a faggot for having rainbow hair, but that meant no one suspected that he was the one fucking their girlfriends. So therefore, Sehun considers the rainbow hair a definite plus, especially when he's snagging bitches left and right (i.e.: having a threesome with two (not ugly) girls at Trashcon). 

He pulls himself upright, shirt unbuttoned and hair more than a little ruffled. He inspects his torso, bruises and scrapes littering him, unsurprising given the events of last night, and inwardly grins. It takes him more than a few moments to make himself look presentable and not like he just slept for a few hours on a bathroom floor in a gas station. 

Sehun leaves the girls to continue their dozing in the bathroom after standing up fully to button his shirt and tame his hair. Even when he tries to keep a poker face there is a smile playing at his lips, smug satisfaction practically radiating. Yes, he may have fucked two girls in a gas station bathroom, but he also had a threesome, which in his eyes, outweighed the location. 

The smile only abandons Sehun's face when he opens his phone. Twenty notifications from Jongin. All of them contain an excessive amount of crying emojis. _Damnit,_ Sehun grumbles in his head as he makes his way to Jongin's house, mumbling obscenities about how stupid Jongin was. 

All of these antagonistic phrases are abandoned when he enters Jongin's bedroom. The brown haired teen is one cry away from a breakdown. Sehun slides softly into the other adolescent's bed, hand slipping over Jongin's back in soothing, slow circles. He was never good at comforting people, but he had been thrust into this role a few more times than expected by Jongin. 

For a while they do not say anything, not a word. Jongin's breathing slows and becomes less erratic, and Sehun seems to have hypnotized himself to the rhythm of tracing circles. Eventually he can feel Jongin's chest vibrate as the other teen began to speak. 

"I, fuck, I thought I had a chance." Jongin's voice is still strained with unhappiness, and Sehun can feel his own heart shatter in sympathy. He may be close with their entire friend group, but Jongin is his best bro, his rock, his closest friend. 

"Hey, hey, don't cry now." Sehun says in the most calming voice he can conjure up, stalling so he can think of something more to say. Unfortunately, nothing comes to mind, so these words are followed by an awkward pause. 

"How can I not cry? The," Jongin sniffles deeply, "love of my life," another sniffle "doesn't feel the same way I do."

Sehun puts on his most sympathetic facial expression. Then he realizes that it won't help because Jongin is lying face down in a mountain of pillows. "How about you explain what happened last night and I'll give you my opinion?"

Jongin turns slightly, eye contact being made for a split second. "Sehun, you wouldn't understand. _You're straight._ "

"Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I don't understand when someone doesn't like me. Just tell me what happened Jongin, I'm your best friend."

Jongin rolls over fully, now lying on his back, eyes cast towards the ceiling fan making slow circles. "Ok. So, like I started flirting, and I don't think he got the message. So, like, I decided that it would be a good time to kiss him. And I did. And then he gave me this judgey look so I ran home."

Sehun pauses. He stares at Jongin for a while, deciding on what to say. Sehun had had his fair share of relationships, so he feels like he should have experience to draw from. Unfortunately, he also knows he's not particularly that bright, so his response is not going to be quality. "That's not all bad."

"His face was that of disgust! It _is_ all bad!" Jongin exclaims, voice jumping up an octave or two, eyes scrunching in unhappiness. 

Sehun is really racking his brain now. "It could have gone worse."

Jongin's frown reaches a comical size. "It also could have gone a lot better! He's not into me, Sehun."

Sehun furrows his brow even further, gears in his mind running as fast as possible to figure out something to say. "How do you not know that?"

"Sehun, his body langua--"

"Perhaps he hasn't come to terms with his queerness yet, you never know." Sehun says, proudly smiling because in his books, perhaps was a fancy word. 

Jongin shakes his head in defeat. Sehun was his best friend, and he meant well, but oftentimes his logic was lacking. Jongin wondered why he was the brains of the duo. 

Little did he know, Kyungsoo was talking about the very same thing to Luhan and Minseok, both of which who had very different opinions on the whole thing. 

"Look, you just said he's had feelings for you for years! You have to let him down easily." Luhan reasoned. Without Yixing present, the Chinese was a hell of a lot more chatty. 

"Luhan that's bullshit." Minseok grins, and it is the same innocent smile he gives to parents and teachers and authorities, but it seems more sinister than anything else now. "If he wants your dick so badly I'm sure he'd blow you. Free blowjobs never hurt anyone."

"Minseok! That's so unfair to Jongin!"

Kyungsoo stares at the two, who now have completely ignored him. He would say something, but their conversation was so polarized that it was behind interesting, like watching the angel and devil argue on his shoulders in a cartoon. 

"How is it unfair? Jongin wants him, and he gets him! Everyone wins!" Minseok says, and it has become obvious that Minseok truly does not see any flaws in his argument. 

"But if Kyungsoo is doing that, he's leading Jongin on!"

"He could say he's only in it for the sex! I do that all the time!" Minseok exclaims, and looks rather proud of himself. 

Luhan's face is a certain shade of horror that is only rivaled by the expression he has when Yixing does something truly terrifying. "Jongin is not an object! His feelings _will_ get hurt."

Kyungsoo decides to step in. "Okay, okay, I get it! Maybe I shouldn't say anything to him at all."

The look on both of his friends' faces is that of disappointment. 

\----

Kris is eating breakfast at his local Denny's with Yixing and Chanyeol when the idea comes upon them. Yixing is currently three quarters of the way through his second plate of pancakes, and Chanyeol is absentmindedly sipping a horchata, while Kris schemes up a plan between bites of scrambled eggs. 

Kris has an idea. He turns to Chanyeol. No idea involving Park Chanyeol is a good idea. 

"Chanyeol, you life guard at the pool, right?" He asks, a plan beginning to drum up in his head. The local pool belonged to a kind hearted country club that managed to employee kids like Chanyeol, who were not really that responsible or trustworthy. 

Chanyeol nods, continuing to sip at his horchata. "Yeah, I did. Pool's closed to the public until May though."

"But is there water in the pool?"

Chanyeol paused, eyes darting around in thought. He concentrated hard, head turning down as he wracked his brain for information. "Yeah, actually. They filled it up not too long ago, dunno why though."

Kris beams. "Do you have a key?"

Chanyeol shakes his head quickly. "Nah, I didn't. Only head lifeguards get those."

"Do you know who the head lifeguard is?" Kris is beginning to grow exasperated. Yixing, who has not said a single word the entire time, begins to snicker. 

"Uh like this thirty year old guy. So no, I'm not bros with him." Chanyeol frowns. "I do know where he lives though. We could probably steal the key while he's away."

Kris's grin has a predatory edge to it. "How soon can we do that? I say we have a pool party tonight."

Chanyeol and Yixing smile widely, and nod fervently. The morning breeze blows through the outdoor seating of the Denny's, and the streetside view suddenly seems less trashy. Chanyeol moves his horchata aside, styrofoam container sitting on the edge of the table. 

Yixing was about to say something, mouth opening, but then his expression changes to that of horror. The other two teenagers turn in their seats to see a homeless person (whether they were man, woman, or neither could not be said), wrapped in a dress made of a bed sheet with tin foil jewelry and questionable makeup, strut over towards Chanyeol's drink in towering heels. They grabbed the horchata, disguised in that styrofoam cup that said "COCA COLA" in bright letters, and set aside their stub of a cigarette. 

In mere seconds Mystery Homeless Person had downed the entire drink, only to realize that it wasn't Coca Cola. Making a screwy face, they then spat the entire drink all over the table. Kris felt like he was going to vomit. 

"SHIT'S NASTY!" Mystery Homeless Person bellowed before skittering away in their five inch heels. Never again were they eating at Denny's. 

Therefore Kris, Yixing and Chanyeol exit the restaurant as quickly as possible, and decide to hail a cab (cursing that there was no Uber in their town). After what seems like forever, they manage to board one. 

But fate was not on their side today. Between the three of them they had four dollars. "We only have four dollars." Yixing states. 

The driver sighs and visibly deflates. He pauses for a good long while, thinking it over. "Fine. I'll do it for four dollars, but we're making a stop first. I need to pick up a package."

The driver starts off in the direction of the address they had given him, but suddenly takes a detour near Chanyeol's neighborhood. Yixing smiles with the intensity of a thousand suns, because he is either too dense or his brain is too fried to realize that this is the one of the worst parts of town. Chanyeol and Kris trade worried looks, but the driver speeds on, in the general direction of a motel. 

"Alright boys, we're only going to be here for a minute while I get something. Don't open the doors or windows, and please do not talk to anyone, anyone at all." The driver says before exiting the taxi and jogging into the shitty motel. 

Near instantly after he leaves, hordes of women start approaching the car. Yixing stares at them, seemingly transfixed. All of the ladies were rather scantily clad, with severe makeup and a faraway look in their eyes. 

"Wow, this is quite the welcome!" He titters, turning to look at Chanyeol and Kris. "Do you think they work for the motel?"

"Yixing, I don't know how to put this nicely..." Kris starts. He sincerely likes the other Chinese teenager, but Yixing has more than a few screws loose and isn't exactly the brightest bulb. 

"Yixing, those are hookers." Chanyeol says with all of the subtlety of a brick going through a window. This is why he was oftentimes selected to be the bringer of bad news. He just didn't give a fuck. 

"Hi!" Yixing has already ignored Chanyeol and is currently waving to one of the (many) hookers. "I'm Yixing! How are you?"

Kris lunges to pull Yixing away from the window before the other teen can roll it down. Sometimes he wonders why he's friends with the Chinese teenager. "Yixing! The driver just told us not to do that!"

"But they seemed so friendly!" Yixing frowns, and looks genuinely sad. Kris feels his heart melt some. 

"Too fuckin' bad. They just want our money." Chanyeol says, unfazed by Yixing's facial expression. 

Luckily for the three of them, the driver soon returns to the taxi, package firmly in hand. "Sorry about that, boys. Lot of sketchy people 'round these parts. You didn't talk to none of these women though, right?"

Chanyeol shakes his head before anyone can say anything else. "No sir. Never seen so many whores in my life."

The driver shakes his head, deeming Chanyeol to be relatable enough. "Don't give 'em the time of your day. Now, to your destination."

The rest of the ride is quiet and uneventful, but there is a building sense of pressure between the three high schoolers as they worried if they would be able to get the key. Leaving the taxi, the tension only got worse. This all climaxed in a single point of horror as the trio realized that they could not get the key.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so behind on my upload schedule because I have other stories I've been working on. I doubt I'll be consistent, but I'm gonna get this finished, eventually (aiming for about 40k words if possible). As usual, the events in this chapter are (vaguely) based off of weird shit that happened to my friends/family/me.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this to aff originally; this isn't plagiarized. The chapters are hella long (like 4k per chapter??? The longest chapters I've ever written tbh) as this originally wasn't supposed to be chaptered. Writing this was long as hell.


End file.
